Comparative Reality

We recently returned from a multi-day trip to LA and environs. The main point was to go to Disneyland. We last went two years ago, when our youngest was eight months old. She, of course, remembers it vividly.

We set off at 5:30am on Saturday...yes, we drove. We thought about flying, but it's damnably expensive. Fortunately, the kids were great on the drive.

Tip #1: Don't stop in Buttonwillow. Buttonwillow smells like a beach bathroom that hasn't seen a mop since it was built in 1932, where the toilets are never flushed, and people mainly piss on the floors and walls, anyway.

...

After gagging while filling up the tank, we retreated into the local Denny's for breakfast. Fortunately, they have a airlock-like system that keeps the stench outside. Or the best air conditioning unit in the world.

A family friend works for Disney, and was kind enough to meet us at the park for breakfast on Sunday, and then let us into the park (parks, technically, but we have no interest in the California Adventure part). I thought that this would be terrible: The Sunday before Thanksgiving? We were asking for massive crowds. Half of LA would be there!

Fortunately, I was completely and utterly wrong. The lines were in the 15-30 minute range, with two exceptions: Indiana Jones (where we used the Fastpass system), and the Finding Nemo submarine ride (more like 45 minutes or so, but I lost track).

It was a damned good day to visit Disneyland. We stayed for 12 hours, after having done most of what we wanted to, and seen a really impressive fireworks show.

Of course, we were completely exhausted on Monday, and I voted to skip another day at Disneyland. I was outvoted, though, so we walked the few blocks from our hotel, and I got in line for tickets (our friend was unavailable, but paying for one day out of two is acceptable...even if it does cost $200 for us to get in).

While in line, my wife took a better look at the crowds. Which were at least twice the size of the previous day. So, right as I was about to purchase tickets, she decided that maybe I was right about skipping a second day at the park.

(To be honest, though, I had originally voted to go Monday and Tuesday, instead of Sunday and Monday. That would've been a miserably bad mistake.)

So Monday became "do things around LA" day. Which was really just sitting in mid-day traffic into West LA, lunch (stupidly, I forgot that the Apple Pan is closed on Mondays, and seems to be remodeling right now, anyway), and letting the kids run around the La Brea Tar Pits. (Around, not in.) Then dinner with some friends.

Tip #2: LA traffic is so much worse than I remember. After-lunch traffic on the 10 shouldn't have been that bad, at least in my memory. When driving around LA, just accept that you'll be sitting in traffic, no matter what time it is.

My wife was ready to leave on Tuesday morning, but since our hotel was in Anaheim, and since she's always wanted to see Mission San Juan, we took a trip down south. Which was brilliant, as it turned out. The weather was great, there's a nifty little petting zoo near the mission, and the mission itself is large and impressive. When you think, "What should an old Spanish mission look like?", it looks exactly like that.

Tip #3: Don't trust your camera. Recharge the batteries every night, or you'll be taking pictures like mad to try to get a few good shots before the camera shuts off.

Then it was off to return home! Except that, after a bit of shopping, a quick trip to my wife's cousin's house to pick up some shoes left behind on Saturday, and a stop for coffee, it was 3:30. Which meant we were going to hit downtown LA right at rush hour.

Four hours later, we made it to the Magic Mountain area.

Tip #4: If your plans involve driving through LA at rush hour, change them.

After a stop for a surprisingly good dinner, we headed out. And it started raining.

Tip #5: Avoid driving over the Grapevine when it's being scoured by gusting sheets of rain.

Fortunately, we had enough gas to speed past Buttonwillow on the way home.