Comparative Reality

I wanted to like Bioshock 2. I preordered the game. I waited. When it arrived, I gazed
over every inch of the box. Then, full of anticipation, I installed the game. Which is when things started to
go wrong.

To be fair, it started after I installed the game and tried to run it. "You need a Windows Live account!" it said. So I created one. Then I just needed to log in to Windows Live, via the game interface...and it couldn't connect. I could log in out of the game, but Bioshock 2 was going to be stubborn about it. Can't log in through the game? Then you can't update the game or play online. Oh, and one other detail: you can't save your game.

I thought that last one had to be a mistake. So I played a bit...and couldn't save. Brilliant!

I spent a the next hour searching for answers. Then another hour configuring port forwarding on the router (no
luck), opening ports in the firewall (no luck), and searching for more possible solutions.

Then, finally, after a couple hours of that nonsense, I stumble on a bit of advice: Scroll waaaaaaay down a certain dialog box (the one telling you to log in to Windows Live or else!), and there's an option to play offline.

Then click through a few more dialogs ("You understand that you're making a stupid choice, right? Well...OK, I guess. Now click here to confirm that you're a pathetic loser."). Then I'm off! And it only took two and a half or so hours to get he game running!

First, though, I have to configure me key setup. I prefer the ESDF setup to WASD, especially with games with lots of commands (A is the action key, G is for grenades, R is for reload...).
Now I can play.

And it goes well, for a while. Then I hit the first hacking minigame. No problem! So I click...and click...and lose. Over and over again. I check and recheck the key mappings. Everything looks OK. It just doesn't work like it's supposed to.

More web searches. Ah...ha? The Hack command cannot be remapped, even if the game says it can. It's WASD or nothing!

So by this point I've spent more time trying to get he game to work than I have spent playing. Far, far more time. And since free time is a rare and valuable commodity, I'm ready to cut my losses. And even now, a couple of months later, I just can't be bothered to try again.

I used to wrangle with config.sys and autoexec.bat to get games to work. But that was nearly 20 years ago, and I just cannot be arsed anymore. If a game takes that much effort to configure, then requires that I mess with the router, and firewall, and log in....Cannot. Be. Arsed.

I've been spoiled by consoles and mobile games. Yes, they lack the graphics and the depth, but Having Fun Rigy Now often trumps those things.

Whichnis also why I hate the argument "But the game gets good after the first 5/10/20 hours!" Sorry, but I have limited time and patience. If the game developers couldn't include fun right from the start, then they've failed. Or succeeded in making a game for masochists.