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Link: http://www.afmc.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123088771

3/5/2008 - WRIGHT-PATTERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Ohio -- A retirement ceremony to honor the contributions of the F-117A Nighthawk, the world's first attack aircraft to employ stealth technology, will take place here March 11.

But...but...the F-117 is a symbol of how totally futuristic and Space Age and massively advanced our armed forces are! And they're retiring it already? Why, it wasn't that long ago that I was playing F-19 Stealth Fighter game, where the box art showed a spearhead-shaped aircraft. Or the updated, massively fun version, with the correct aircraft shape and designation.

Ok, maybe that was a little while ago. But I grew up flying the F-117! You can't retire it! That makes me feel old.

It's been in service for 27 years, but only officially for the last 20 (and only 18 since they were trotted out for public viewing). And now the Air Force wants some shiny new F-22s.

Hell, the Navy just retired their F-14s a year and a half ago. They at least got 34 years out of those. Still, we've gotten over 50 years of service out of the B-52 and C-130.

Of course, I haven't played F-117 in years, but it was a great game. Did I ever tell you about that time when I flew deep into East Germany, skillfully avoided those pesky Doppler radars, SAM sites, and patrolling MiGs, only to blow most of my own tail off during a low-level bombing run? That was one hell of a return flight. Leaking fuel, far from a friendly base, enemy MiGs swarming around me...

And by that I mean "moving you from here to someplace else."

Some classic rock satellite radio station is piped into the men's locker room at my gym. Now, in general, I'm tired of classic rock. I've heard it. I've moved on. Yes, sure, I won't object to the Beatles, or early Rolling Stones, or a few other bands. No objection, happy to listen, you won't hear a word of complaint.

But I don't need to hear The Eagles every damn time I'm in there. I'm sick of them. I got sick of them 20, 25 years ago. I can go the rest of my life, and be quite content, without hearing "Hotel California" or "Take it Easy" every again.

But they play them every damn day. Probably immediately after playing The Doors. The Doors, who have an impressively high ranking on the Most Overrated Bands Ever list. Stop worshiping Jim Morrison, people. He mumbled, rambled a lot, and was generally crap. Honestly: "L.A. woman! L.A. woman! L.A. woman mrmphl mrph bgwn."

And then there's Neil Young. I cannot stand Neil Young. He might be incredibly influential, and every musician might bow at his feet, but I just cannot stand his voice. He whines. Maybe his songwriting is absolute genius, but I just can't listen to his whiny, reedy voice, especially when he's singing "Rock and roll will never die" in a slow, nasally way that seems to be his attempt to get a few stabs at the body, deathless or not.

Of course, this is a silly complaint: "Oh no! They play crappy music in a place that I'm not interested in lingering in, anyway!"

Pie, all the way. Unless it's a rhubarb pie; then that changes things. But otherwise, given normal pies made from righteous, God-fearing fruit, pie always wins.

You want to throw cobblers into the debate? Sorry, but those very clearly fall under the "pie" category.

Time to leap in and post. No, I haven't read the docs yet. And, no, I'm not ashamed of that.

No, I lie: I read about adding a user and creating a blog. Obviously, because I did those things.

But, honestly, do I need to read about the editing features? Not hardly. I've mastered FrameMaker, so no little bloggy text-entry form is going to give me the slightest pause. And it would be terrible blogging software if it did.

I expect that this will be like my Cant columns, except smaller, and less ranty.