« Beauty | Spice » |
California Sucks
I was born in California. My dad was born in California. My dad's folks were born in Washington State and Canada, but I don't hold that against them.
So I feel it's with some authority that I say that California has an image problem. Perception conflicts with reality.
Perception: California frightens and befuddles the rest of the nation with its progressive, Left Coast, San Francisco politics.
Reality: Sure, medical marijuana is legal, but we also just changed our state Constitution to prevent gay folks from getting married. Take a long drive through the Central Valley and try to find something other than country or ranchera music on the airwaves.
Perception: California leads the world in innovation and technology.
Reality: Most of the brain power behind that innovation needs to be imported. California's public school system consistently ranks 46th out of 50, behind such academic powerhouses as Arkansas (43), Wyoming (11), and Minnesota (2). Looking at what friends are paying in rent to live in Cupertino to ensure their kids a good public school education, it might make more sense to move to Wyoming.
Perception: California exults in free and creative expression, raising the eyebrows of all those other staid, nerdy, uptight states. Plus we helped make the entertainment industry what it is today.
Reality: Sure, a lot of southern coastal California might have the weather that allows folks to let it all hang out, but when it comes to state budgets, it's another story. California is dead last in the nation in state-funded arts spending. Would you like a grant to help your groundbreaking French horn quartet? Sorry, we're busy building prisons. As far as entertainment, is anyone actually going to pay money to watch Underworld: Rise of the Lycans? The best thing in the first Underworld flick was Kate Beckinsale's skin-tight-bodysuit-clad ass. The producers couldn't rope Ms. Beckinsale in for a third round. Maybe her ass has a cameo. Still wouldn't be worth my time.
So when you hear a Californian crowing about the Golden State, kindly ask them to pipe down.
Conversely, if you are confronted by a New Yorker droning on about how California sucks, that the best pizza, the best bagels, etc., feel free to beat them with anything heavy and unyielding, just because.