Rekiwi's Blog

"I know all this now because the key in my jointer's cutter-head shaft is backing out, the key that keeps the sheave from simply spinning on the shaft. I thought I'd squirt in some wicking green Loctite 290 and set the wayward key in place."

Dude! I totally remember the episode of Star Trek where Geordi did exactly that to keep the warp core from imploding!

"CompReal made me do it. He said it would be easy and it was."

You sir, are a filthy liar. I said it was possible. I'm sure that I also mentioned that it was highly likely that a great deal of cursing would be involved, and that no matter how many times I build a computer, it never works the first time I try to turn it on.

It's possible, and often worth the effort (knowing every part of your computer will come in handy once it craps out, and you might save a bit of money), but it's rarely ever "easy".

Or else I was lying to you. That's also possible.

What the hell are you talking about? LOTS of dicks are wearing Snuggies! Ok, maybe there aren't many testicles to be found...

Obviously, you are ignorant of the Rules of Consumerism:

1. You must buy products.
2. If you are unsatisfied with these products, or your life in general, you must buy more products.
3. You must never refrain from buying products when you have an opportunity to buy more products.

GAH. Stop that.

I suppose that folks think they sound more dynamic and forceful. That's one part of it, but I suspect that there's a bigger reason: People are confused about using affect/effect. So instead of trying to figure out which one to use, they just go with impact. Plus, I think that impact has some negative connotations. Saying "That change is going to impact our schedule" sounds like more of a problem than "That change is going to affect our schedule." Or "have an effect on." Is it a good or bad effect? With impact, you know it's not good.

A) What were you doing with a huge load of ironwork?

B) Too bad there wasn't a puppy within kicking distance, just to prove what a soulless beast you are.

Hey, there was a bomb in the chicken, after all.

Which, of course, is not at all less bizarre. Did someone have a grudge against animal control? Or maybe revenge against someone who drove over another chicken?

The mind boggles.

Now, be kind: She's married to George W. Bush. It must require an astonishing amount of willpower to suppress reality so completely. Or metric tons of pharmaceuticals.

I like crows. They're smart, they look good, and they talk a lot. And a group of them is called a murder. How can you not like that? Plus, our crows are American Crows. Suck on that, Khrushchev!

Plus, they congregate in our neighborhood. Lots of big, black birds, cawing at each other and filling the trees. Then swooping down to wander around our driveway.

Gulls, though, are nasty, squawking, trash-diggers. I have no sympathy for 'em.