Category: Rants

Wipe Your Own Ass

June 23rd, 2008
Newsflash, people! If you don't use the entire packet of sugar (Holy shit! An entire packet of sugar? Hold it right there Diabetes Boy!), or the whole packet of non-dairy creamer, or you don't want to finish that belly-busting 1-oz sack of Cool Ranch… more »

Fashion Nonsense

June 5th, 2008
I flipped through a Lucky magazine this morning, the "Ultimate Shopping Guide" and "The Magazine About Shopping". I saw a disturbing trend. No, it's not those too-precious little vest combinations. Not the clunky wedges or giant, server-platter-si… more »

This Should Be Easy

June 3rd, 2008
Yeah. Here's an easy one. If you see a toddler wandering around by herself at 5 am, you damn well stop and help that little person. You figure out what the hell is going on. You ask her some simple questions. You ring a few doorbells. You… more »

Belgians Aren't All Bad

May 21st, 2008
Well dang. I've spent years developing a nice, healthy anti-Belgian bias. I met some really cool Belgians while traipsing around Europe, but I spent way too much time stuck in Brussels to really forgive. The damn Belgians are so uptight about the… more »

Pot → Kettle, Albedo = Zero

May 6th, 2008
The First Lady decides to blow our minds with a stunning display of hypocrisy: "The response to the cyclone is the most recent failure of the [Myanmarese*] regime to meet its people's basic needs," Bush told reporters. Anything the B… more »