Harlock - Column for 12/26

Ego

In her last article, Red wondered why someone would continue embezzling money long after they should have taken the money and run.

     And it is very much human nature for people to feel 
     more invincible once they have gotten away with 
     something once...So they keep doing it.

     That is the only explanation I can think of, for the 
     tendency to not just embezzle once, but to continue 
     until it becomes a virtual certainty that someone 
     will figure it out.

Ah, but I can think of another reason: Ego. Yes, once you're on a winning streak you think that it will continue, because, hey, it's you, right? But what's worse than being on a winning streak? Being on a winning streak without anyone knowing about it. Oh, that rankles. Imagine it: There you are, embezzling funds while everyone thinks you're the model VP/accountant/admin, telling you what a great job you're doing, and all you can do is smile. What you'd want to do is jump on your desk and scream "Shows what you know! You thought I was spending my weekends in Bakersfield, but I've been in Aspen! Here's a postcard showing my condo! HA HA HA HA HA!" But you just can't. That makes it too easy for them to catch you, and everything you've done so far is to make it difficult for them to catch you.

It's just human nature. Hell, it's probably just animal nature. Cats drag dead things into the house not because they want to share the spoils with you; pets larger than guinea pigs don't take too long to figure out that you have an inexhaustible food supply. No, the cat is saying "Hey, look what I did! I killed this thing. Who's the badass predator? Me."

And that's what the embezzling employee longs to tell their coworkers. They're screwing The Man, and that takes balls. Even if they're an executive and, therefore, The Man themselves, there's always the thought that it's not them, but the guy they're working for that is really The Man. And they're taking the cash right out of his pockets. And the money might be nice, but, honestly, how many condos and cars and mistresses do you really need? Actually, I don't know; maybe a lot. But the point is that at some point, it just won't be enough. Because even though you're stealing from The Man, no one knows. Ok, your mistresses probably know, but they're not going to actively work against the source of their lifestyle.

So what's an embezzler desiring recognition to do? Sure they can quit, take their money, and start a new job somewhere else, but then it's likely that no one will ever know about their exploits. No one will say "Hey, remember how Lindsey screwed the company out of $800k? That was so cool!" No, the easiest, most sure way to gain that notoriety is to just stay where you are, continue to grab that cash, and see how long it takes the fools to catch on. Then not only can you tell 'em what you've done, you can gloat about how long it took them to figure it out! According to news/tv/novels, white collar prisons are no worse than Club Med vacations, and you can rest assured that you'll be the topic of lunchtime conversation for months to come.

Columns by Harlock