Of course, now I find myself drinking carrot juice. Why do I admit to such a damning turn of events? I suppose it's my way of clearing my conscience. And how did I arrive at such a sad state of affairs? Ah, well, you see, I recently stopped drinking caffeinated sodas. This is not some grand attempt at asceticism, like our good Cindy was indulging in, but rather a bit of empathy on my part. My wife, you see, is pregnant. Which means that she is barred from consuming caffeine. So I figured what the hell, and stopped, too. So besides the occasional root beer or lemon-lime beverage, I also cut out soda. If it cuts a few excess calories out of my diet as well, so much the better.
Fortunately, my company keeps us well stocked with a decent variety of juices. And, for some reason, I decided to try this carrot-pineapple-god knows what else blend of juices. And damn me if it wasn't tasty. I mean, it's not ambrosia, and it is sweet enough to preclude me from drinking multiple bottles per day, but it's still pretty good.
And no, I don't believe that this carrot juice, or any other juice, is going to vastly improve my health, make me live longer, grow more hair on my chest, or anything else. Sure, it's only moderately better than sodas, some might claim (perhaps correctly), but let's be honest: water, as essential as it is, gets boring after a while. Oh, sure, there are a dozens of brands of water, from still to fizzy to possessing a subtle hint of flavor, but it's still just water. I'm content as long as it doesn't taste like dirt or rust, or have any questionable objects floating/swimming in it.
So there you have it. I drink carrot juice. Not the undiluted, uncut, pure stuff, but it's a vegetable juice, nonetheless. Go ahead and mock me if you like. Cast those stones. Maybe carrot juice is just a gateway vegetable juice, and soon I'll be experimenting with celery and tomato juices. And from there, it's only a short descent into the hardest of the hardcore drinks: blue-green algae juice.
Ah, thankfully, I can feel my stomach churning at the mere thought of algae juice. So there's no need to stage that intervention just yet. Concentrate on curing those worse off than me; I'll be ok. It's just a little carrot juice. Not that much at all, really. I swear I won't let it get any worse.