"EVIL!"
Uh...
"Your soul is wallowing in EVIL!"
Dammit, Inner Puritan, not now...
"There's never a good time for EVIL!"
Now you're sounding like the Tick.
"Do not mock me! There is EVIL in your soul!"
Uh huh. Where?
"There! In your soul! EVIL!"
No, I don't see any...
"There, in the corner. EVIL!"
Where...oh. That's just a LEGO piece. How'd that get there?
"EVIL!"
No, LEGO. A curved brick. Sure, it's red, but it's kinda useful. I only have four of...
"EVIL cloaks itself in pleasant guises!"
Sure, but LEGO? I doubt that you can build little houses and spaceships out of evil.
"Spaceships are EVIL!"
Oh, now really...
"They seek to plunder the heavens with their infernal contraptions!'
The space mining vehicle? With the little magnets? And the little guys in black spacesuits?
"EVIL, all of it."
But the little guys are grinning. They're happy, see? Severely jaundiced, but happy.
"They serve their master in EVIL abandon!"
I don't think I have enough red bricks to make a LEGO Lucifer. I don't have the octopus, so I can't make a LEGO Cthulhu, either. I need to get one of those...
"Servant of EVIL! Creator of false icons! Your minions serve dark powers in sinful rites!"
Ooh...LEGO cultists. I'd need a LEGO sacrificial dagger, and a LEGO altar stone...
Damn. Sorry, but I just can't go on with this. I'm just not into it. Again, sorry to stop it when it was obviously...well, going nowhere. But it's 1 am, and I'm tired, twitchy, and obviously working with a shorter than normal attention span.
There's a Bob the Angry Flower cartoon wherein Bob, the aforementioned grumpy flora, declares that he's contractually obligated to display anger at something. Likewise, I feel that I would be remiss if I shirked my duties. So, let's lay in on the Canadians!
A news article:
OTTAWA (Reuters) - A C$40,000 Canadian clock display
designed to be accurate to within a few millionths of
a second a year has lost an hour every Sunday this
month, embarrassed officials admitted on Friday.
...
Just to add to the humiliation, the display sports a
plaque boasting that the Millennium Clock "celebrates
Canada's rich history of leadership in timekeeping".
First of all: Ha ha! They can't even keep their clocks set correctly! Of course, 40,000 Canadian "dollars" is equivalent to...let's see...multiply by 9...divide by 5...subtract 32...about $25 American. So it's not a great watch, but it does glow blue when you press a button on its side.
Second: "leadership in timekeeping"? Damn. You know, if nations were high school students, Canada would be the kid who wears his pants up to his elbows and gets his ass kicked every day. And honestly, I don't have anything against Canada. Sure, I mock the country and its people, but only because they're an easy target. What are they going to do? Be slightly less polite to me? But stories like this...well, c'mon, Canada, it's time to comb the unruly hair, buy some contact lenses, get a new wardrobe, and pay the coolest girl in school to go out with you. Which would be...um...oh, I don't know. France would be the stuck up snobby girl...Brazil? Or would Brazil be the cool girl's kinda wacky friend? I don't know. I'm completely out of my depth here. I bet Cindy would know.
Oh yeah, contract (marginally) fulfilled. Time to sleep, and regret this in the morning.