It has come to our attention that one of the authors featured on this website has been endorsing certain rather unsavory, even immoral, points of view. In fact the author, jasona, has been shamelessly and quite vocally supporting the actions of spiders, mad scientists, and zombies! We here at the Society of Good (SOG; "When you see Bad / Don't get Mad / Get SOGgy!") would like to take this opportunity to counter jasona's foul, blasphemous arguments.
Spiders
Let's start with spiders. Jasona has long been known to sympathize and associate with spiders. Let's make one thing clear: Spiders are Evil. How many legs do they have? Eight. Which is just too damn many. What else has eight legs? Octopi. And we all know how evil they are (very, very evil; Cthulhu is octopoid for a reason). Oh, sure, spiders eat pesky bugs. But they also eat good bugs, like Ladybugs and Dragonflies! Spiders don't discriminate between good and evil, they just want to sate their wicked appetites. They aren't content to stay outside eating bugs. Oh no. They want to get inside your houses. Why? Because to spiders, we humans are irresistible targets. Yes, to them, we're just giant containers of a bounty of delicious fluid...and we don't even have an exoskeleton to pierce! How can spiders, with their lack of moral values and their ravening appetites, resist such temptation? They cannot. So they give in to their base, amoral natures and invade our homes, waiting for a chance to strike at us and drain our precious bodily fluids. Some even try to trick you into eating them! Oh, they seek our soft, wet insides on which to gorge themselves. And jasona supports them. He wants to help them, wants to advance their cause. This reason enough to condemn him, but there is more, so much more.
Mad Scientists
Jasona not only defends mad scientists, he gives them advice! He's like Dear Abby, but evil! (All right, more evil. Fine, at least as evil, a sort of dark apprentice, suckling at her blackened, withered teat, OK?) And not only does he help them in their schemes to conquer the world and oppress us under their mighty (and many) boot-shod feet, he has also publicly made clear his opposition to a mad scientist watchdog effort. No, jasona wants to leave them to their own infernal devices, to let them wreak whatever havoc they may, to, in short, surrender ourselves the whims of depraved madmen (and, presumably, madwomen)! Gentle readers, you may well be asking yourselves, "How can jasona do this to us? Does his depravity have no end?" No, I am very much afraid that it goes deeper still..
Zombies
And now, most damning of all: jasona supports the cause of zombies! Yes, the hideous, brain-eating, walking undead! The hell-spawned nightmares that seek to crack open our skulls and feast on the contents therein! Now, it's understandable that some of our impressionable youth are attracted to zombies, what with their retro clothing and lack of respect for authority. An oft-heard argument used by zombie-fascinated teens is "Hey, man, we only use 15% of our brains, anyway! That means that I can give them...uh...a lot of my brain, and not even notice!" That might sound persuasive, but it's just bad science. Who do you think started that vicious rumor? Zombies, of course! "Just a little piece," they say, "you don't need all of it!" But that first little piece is a gateway piece; soon, you're giving up larger and larger sections to your zombie "friends", until one day you wake up and your entire brain is gone, and all that you're left with is a constant, nagging, insatiable hunger. Sure, they say that they'll only take a little, but everyone knows that zombies can't hold their brains. They go into a brain-besotted frenzy, and the consequences are always dire.
Conclusion
Surely by now it is plain to see that jasona is nothing more than a toady to various unsavory, amoral, and just plain wrong factions. But what can you do to stop him? You can volunteer to help our organization counter the threats that irresponsible individuals such as jasona represent to our good, wholesome society. Or you can join our activist arm, Peasants with Pitchforks, and take a more "hands on" role in dealing with the spider/mad scientist/zombie advocate menace. And remember: Just say NO to the evil dead!