Pakeha pointed me to an article that describes a new list of things that the Grumpy Bearded Ones have named anathema. Let's look at some of the items on the list:
Any such goodies are seized and taken to the Principal's off...er...to the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.
It looks like table tennis is still OK. Looking at the above lists, and from previous lists of banned items, it seems pointless for them to keep making new lists. It's time for the List of Unbanned Items. This would include the following (as of today):
All of the above are allowed. Unless, while using/interacting with any of them, someone expresses any sort of joy or happiness, and then they're banned like everything else.
Looking at the recent list of banned items, one of the many questions that spring to mind is: Chess boards? Have chess pieces already been banned, or are they acceptable? And what is un-Islamic about two-colored, alternating squares? Force 100 people to watch a chess match and 98 of them are going to be begging Allah to kill them after the third move (i.e., at least three hours later). That seems like exactly the thing that the Taliban would go for. And if the pieces are OK (which I doubt), what are they supposed to do with them? Something suitably grim and not fun, no doubt. But I'm sure they fall under the category of "statues."
So, what can be done? Well, we can just wait for them to ban eating, which you know is on the way. Or we can overwhelm them with temptation, which would be amusing. I'm thinking giant cargo planes dropping loads of beer, snack foods, and porn on Afghanistan. Why, the Taliban's leaders won't be able to resist the temptation of Hostess Fruit Pies! Especially fruit pies soaked in beer and wrapped in pornography. Which, to be honest, is something that I'm surprised I didn't encounter in college.
Now, I'm wondering what they're referring to when they ban "pig fat products." They already can't eat pigs, so what the heck are making with pig fat? Beard sculpting products? I'd like to think so. Since they can't play games, watch movies, or set off fireworks, beard sculpting would seem to be the only pastime left to them. It's amazing, but these guys make the Puritans look like fun. And anyone who can look at Puritans and say "Some good ideas, but just not strict and repressive enough" is pretty clearly batshit insane. Christian Fundamentalists can only aspire to that level of vituperative nonsense. But maybe they hate chess, too. I'd try using the Hostess fruit pies and porn on both groups.