I might be accused, however unjustly, of being anti-science. Of course I'm not. I'm as happy to reap the benefits of Pepsi cola and 3d acclerated graphics as the next man. Still, there are some things that frankly just need to be stopped. You see, there's a group of people out there who for *years* have been pulling the wool over the eyes of the general population and milking us for all we're worth.
I'm talking about the physicists. Not your regular physicicts, not your "I need to send a rocket to the moon, how much fuel do I need?" kind. I'm talking about sub-atomic crack smokers.
Do you think Newton would have got the whole 'gravity' deal off the ground (no pun intended) if the rest of the world hadn't already noticed that, yup, when you drop something it tends to accelerate towards the floor? And the guys who invented the cathode ray tube? After they finished inventing something, well, you could just walk over to Circuit City and *buy* it.
But really, has anyone ever bumped into a 'Gluon'? And 'Bozons'? 'Up Quarks'? Do they seriously think we're not on to their shit? Well, the game's up fellas. You've had a good run but now it's time to put your hands up and come clean. It was all pretty believable with the whole 'atom' thing but now you're just getting silly and well, the partying has to stop.
Have you ever been inside one of those big particle accelerator buildings? No? Let me give you the inside scoop here. CERN, that big ass 'accelerator'in Geneva, where they supposedly delve into the unexplored extremities of the energy and matter?
World's-Largest-Bong.
What did you think all those pipes were for?
Oh sure, they put out some papers now and then about 'leptons' or some other pun for gettin' jiggy, but only when one of them sobers up enough to type. They throw parties in there that can be heard all the way over in Germany. After the couple of rooms they show the general public, it's all bean bags and imported hookers. They're just running a game to see how much the rest of the world will swallow before we notice they're just making this up as they go along.
Just in case you're not convinced, let me show you what I mean :
What they say (and I'm quoting from Cern's own web site): "In an experiment conducted by Andre Lagarrigue, an invisible neutrino passed through the gigantic Gargamelle bubble chamber at CERN jolting an electron in its wake"
What this means: "Andre sneaked into the jaccuzi again last night without being invited and he's been goosing that Greek chic with his 'invisible friend'"
So enough with the Bozons, the Leptons, the Muons and the Hadrons. I've got a new one for your gloassary; the Strapon. It's what they've been using on us for years now.
Not that I blame them. Hell, I just wish they'd invite me to the parties.