So.. this week: In Defense of the Taliban!
I think the Taliban get a raw deal, PR-wise.
Let's look at the facts and not allow ourselves to be swayed by the anti-fundamentalist rhetoric of the likes of Harlock.
Of course, they have done some things, which on face value, might seem a little, oh, heavy handed. Generally plunging one's country into the equivalent of the dark ages and repressing all forms of free expression is seen as bad thing by our overly pro-freedom-biased media. The destruction of priceless relics and the subjugation of women to virtual slavery, *could* be characterized as the insane policy of a deranged and morally irredeemable regime bent on the total and absolute control of all of its citizens at the expense of anything resembling good sense. It *could* be seen that way. But what about all the good things they've done? Why aren't we hearing about those?
There is a simple, irrefutable reason; anti-beardism.
Oh yes, I know, it's hard to believe, as we stand, if not on the threshold, then at least in the cloakroom of a new millennium, that even now anti-beardism still pervades our culture, but face facts. How many people do you know with truly sizeable beards? I'm not talking about those comical little tufts of facial moss seen hanging like limp seaweed off your average skate-rats chin. I'm talking lush, rich, verdant masses of facial hair. I'm talking about beards so full that it's possible to believe whole native cultures could still exist in their depths, untouched by the hand of modern man. I'm talking about lustrous, potent beards who's very thickness screams of the powerful tsunami of testosterone awash in the owners bloodstream. How often do you see those?
Exactly. Almost never and certainly not on public figures.
But just think. Picture George W. Bush, his face resplendent in a fine furry growth that reaches teasingly down to his navel. Picture him bestriding the world stage like a mighty Colossus; other world leaders fawning at his feet. The pope, his concerns over the misuse of fetuses forgotten, aged hands trembling with desire to finger George's shining locks.
Yes, I'm a dreamer. Yes, I'm a romantic, an idealist. But if enough of us believe, it can happen. So, I say to the Taliban; 'thank you.' Thank you for showing us that beards aren't just for frightening UNIX geeks. Thank you for standing up and being counted, even at the risk of public censure.
Let's tell the media to just back off and let our inner beards burst forth. Freedom for the unshaven! George, if you're reading this, and I know you are, let me give you two words : ZZ Top. They could do it. So can you. Now get out there and *lead.*
Oh, and if the Taliban are reading this; you might want to loosen up a bit on the whole 'mindless, unreasonaing repression' thing. It's getting in the way of your pro-beard message.