So I'm lunching with Harlock. We've basically demolished our Thai honey beef meals. Our conversation has run the typical gamut of R/C vehicles, the insanities of our respective employers, Star Trek, and World War II history. Then he comes up with this gem:
"Mussolini was like Curly, only evil."
This really has nothing to do with this week's Cant. I just wanted to make sure that such a nugget of truth wasn't lost.
Anyhoo…
I read in the news that Target, Kmart, and Walmart are duking it out. Apparently Kmart is getting the worst of it.
One of the scariest aspects of this showdown is how consumers and analysts are characterizing Target. They say that Target has a reputation for being more upscale and expensive. I can imagine that Tarzhay may seem a little stratospheric to those who eat fried pork rinds at every meal, but then I learn that "pork rinds are soaring in popularity" and that "pork rinds have tripled their market share in the last five years alone". (That smiling pig reminds me of an Auschwitz Canada commando. His time will come.) This is the way a large percentage of the U.S. public considers Target. Now, don't get me wrong, Target can be a fun place, especially if you're stalking the aisles with a lasergun/barcode scanner, shooting items to add to your registry. But upscale and expensive? I guess I'm just an elitist pig. Next thing you know I'll be laying down $80,000 for a Mercedes and frothing at the mouth whenever anyone gets near it in parking lots.
My point, however, is that Kmart is losing out to Walmart. Is this a bad thing?
Well, few months ago, my wife and I decided to check out Kmart after we realized it was right next to the In-N-Out where we had just eaten dinner. I decided to lay any prejudices aside and check out the current state of the big K. Heck, one of the only times I've been hit on by someone of the opposite sex who I found attractive was in the Kmart in Soquel. This was just before I headed up the hill to UCSC and was the last time I'd been in a Kmart, so my hopes were high. Maybe my wife and I could find a quiet corner in which to make out.
In short, the experience was rather depressing. We didn't make out, the building was ill-kept, the shelves were in a state of extreme disarray, everything we thought to look for was out of stock, what was in stock was of laughable quality, and all the employees seemed to understand what working at Kmart meant for them. I think we actually bought something, but I haven't been in a Kmart since.
So, if the markets decree that Kmart should die, I will not mourn the loss. What I will mourn is the continued ascendancy of Walmart.
I just have to get this one little thing off my chest:
Fuck Walmart.
Their prices may be low, but Walmart exacts payment in other currency.
I have been in a Walmart maybe three times in my life. That is three times too many.
Walmart proves to me that the United States has lost any remaining shred of moral bearing.
The first hint was the in-store McDonald's, America's feeding trough.
The hoards of blue-smocked provided all the other hints I needed. Everyone I interacted with was downright surly. Now, I'm not a consumer who believes that my dollar entitles me to be treated like a king. I do not expect retail workers to get down on their knees and suck on my throbbing knob when I whip out my MasterCard. I just want to be treated politely, just like I endeavor to treat others. I understand that working at Walmart would suck the life out of the most optimistic of us. A coworker of mine, a former Walmart serf, actually confirmed my understanding. Enduring that place is just not worth saving eight cents on a box of fruit rollups. There's got to be something between opening a vein in a boutique shop on University Ave., Palo Alto and wallowing in the squalor of Walmart.
Pakeha