Well, our little family, all 2.5 of us, has entered the realm of DVD. We finally heeded the klaxon of inevitability and had my mother-in-law get us a DVD player for Christmas. I'm already experiencing some benefits. I can finally watch Aliens or The Matrix on my TV without setting up my computer in the living room. I have experienced the amazing leaps in image quality from VHS to composite video DVD to S-Video DVD. It will be a while, if ever, before I can justify laying out the cash for HDTV and a progressive scan DVD player. In the meantime, I'll look forward to wrestling our entertainment center away from the wall to connect the component video cable and crawling through the attic to install the surround speakers. As I'm sweating, swearing, and straining the disks in my lower back, I'm sure that one question on my mind will be "When am I going to have to do this again?"
It seems like the entertainment industry needs to create a new format on a regular basis to keep their shareholders happy. Take CDs for example. I remember that they were touted as "perfect music forever". I feel fortunate that CDs became popular just as I was beginning to develop a thirst for music. A few years earlier and I would've been stuck box-loads of 8-tracks.
Now I'm being told that CDs are not perfect enough.
I will be hog-tied, hauled up by my nipples, and think Kate Moss is attractive before some slavering, avaricious record company exec convinces me to replace my library of CDs with whatever the latest and greatest spinning-disk technology happens to be. DVD-Audio? Please, would someone explain to me why anyone would give a festering rat's ass (unless their continued economic viability depended on forcing the music-buying public to pay $24.95 for the digitally remastered, remixed for surround sound, Malaysian cassette lineup of Mariah Carey's self-titled debut album)? Also, would someone please tell me when the folks over at Sony are going to grow a brain? SACD? Let's see now, a format championed by Sony for which there are about 2 titles available and a competing format… anyone ever hear of Betamax? The prudent consumer would wait until one format or the other showed a clear lead and then tell all the manufacturers to stuff it. I think these folks realize that they're running up on the limits of human perception. This is shown by their ad copy: "Capable of exposing the inner detail of choral ensembles, the reverberation trailing from a guitar chord, and even the acoustic space surrounding an instrument…it's a major step closer to pure music". My ears may not be used to the "pure music" of Super Audio CD, but it sure sounds like a load of steaming bullshit to me. The less there is to sell, the thicker the rhetorical soup folks splash around to get people to buy. As for multi-channel sound, am I ever going to listen to Patsy Cline in 5.1 surround sound? Would I even want to listen to any artist recorded in anything more sophisticated than stereo? Anyone remember the miracle of Quadraphonic sound? Most live performances are basically two-dimensional anyway, with the artists playing out to an audience. Any three dimensional experience comes either from the annoying acoustics of the venue or the drunk/stoned/cranked asshole who won't shut up next to you. Do I give a flying cow turd if it ever sounds like Anthony Kiedis is screeching and yodeling on my lap as Flea is kicking it behind me? Actually, now that I mention it, I can think of one exception: pipe band music. There are few things more rousing than standing in the center of a really tight band, bass, tenor, and snares pounding away as the sound pressure of the drones and chanters lift you up and away…
So we now have a DVD player. My wife gave me Predator on DVD, bless her soul. I can't wait to get crawling, sweating, and swearing.
Pakeha