1:45 to 6:30 AM -- Asleep, with various breaks to wander the house, get a drink of water, have a midnight snack of kibble.

6:30 AM -- Pace and shake my head so my collar jingles until someone wakes up and takes me out to pee. Wander around darkened room looking for used kleenex or other interesting objects on the floor until Mom or Dad gets out of bed. Race to the outside door and out to the deck. Slowly wander around the perimeter, deciding what part smells like it’s scent-mark needs updating. Pee. Lie down in the wet grass. Feign deafness and non-comprehension of "Oswald, come!" and make Mom or Dad come and get me in their night-time attire. Growl and roll onto back and snap when they grab collar. Once grabbed, happily trot inside – game over, they won. Can I have a cookie?

6:40 -- Race back inside, quickly look in under the pillows for anything tasty (Kleenex, ear plugs), then jump on whichever parent is still asleep. Curl up in the lumpiest, most central part of the bed (Dad's legs, Mom's crotch, or in-between both of them).

7:00 -- Mom gets up and I get to take her space on the bed.

7:15 -- Wander out to see what Mom's doing, casually inspect the bathroom trash for new nummies (hair clumps, Q-tips, kleenex), and rub up against her if she's wearing something dark. Follow her back into the bedroom and jump on the bed next to Dad. Look cute and make her hate leaving the cozy pack bed.

10:00 -- Wake Dad up. Snuffle around under the pillows for Mom-flavored Kleenexes, jump on big lumps in the bed, occasionally lick Dad's face. When Dad gets up, race to the door to go out.

10:05 -- Outside to potty again. Snuffle around until I find just the right spot to poop on. Roll in the grass and bring back a "weather report" to Dad, who judges temperature and moisture level from my coat.

10:15 -- What do you mean, eat my kibble? How about some of your breakfast? It smells better.

10:20 to 12:30 -- Nap.

12:30 PM -- Dad’s eating lunch! Why doesn’t he share with me? He can have all of my kibble, if he wants. Talk about unfair.

12:45 to 5:45 -- Nap again. Change positions frequently, from floor to yard, to deck, to long-sprawl, to curled up tight, to underfoot.

5:45 -- Mom comes home from work. Attack! Do the happy dance ™ and throw myself up against her until she loves me all over. Investigate her work clothes and shoes as she tries to take them off before they get my hairy scent all over them. Follow her to the bathroom and try to get my nose between her legs while she's sitting down. Alternately, try to fish things out of the bathroom trash.

5:50 -- Outside to pee. Do so and grab any toy and wiggle with it in front of Mom. Refuse to drop the toy; she likes to have to work for it before she throws it for me.

6:00 -- Follow Mom into the kitchen while she opens the cold box and cupboards. Dad comes in and starts making yummy smells. Get underfoot until someone fills my food and water bowls.

6:30 -- Get underfoot while Mom and Dad cook. Investigate anything that falls to the floor, and the counters if they step out of the room. When they sit down to eat, steal and eat the napkins from their laps. Sit all proper-like and let Dad know that I've never eaten anything today, and I'd sure be happy if he could spare just a bite or two.

6:45 -- Settle down to chew something, nap, and occasionally see what Mom's doing. It helps to stand on her to get her attention.

7:30 -- Evening walk! Sniff everything, pick everything interesting (clumps of dried, mown grass, trash, rocks, sticks, dog poop) up with mouth. Lag behind or pull ahead. Occasionally respond to "heel" and "easy -- no pulling". At the dog park, play some with other dogs, pick up trash, visit all people for loving', and occasionally pay attention to Mom's attempts to get me to fetch The Kong. Only drop it if she throws me a treat. Catch the treat, drop it.

8:15 -- Back from walk, drink water, collapse exhausted to chew something and nap.

9:00 -- Go nuts.

10:00-- Settle down to chew something and nap. Occasionally wander into the bedroom and sleep wither on the bed until I get caught or on my rug on the floor.

10:30 -- Follow Mom around while she wanders and plays in the bathroom. Stick my head in past the curtain while she’s getting wet; can I get in? No? Damn. Lie down on the bathroom rug until she gets out. Lick the water off her legs when she gets out.

10:45 -- One last trip outside to potty. Back in inside, jump on the bed, and get comfortable in the middle.

10:50 -- Growl when Mom moves me to Dad's side of the bed. Puppies go in the middle.

11:00 -- Wake up for some family snuggling.

1:45 AM -- Growl when Dad nudges me to get off the bed and sulkily lie down on my rug next to the bed.