Autumnal Equinox
It's the equinox, one of two times in the year when the day and night are equal lengths, sunrise to sunset. Symbolically we stand at the cusp of autumn, a moment of balance between summer and winter, light and dark, life and death. As a Libra it's "my" time of year, of assessing and weighing, taking stock of what has happened over the last twelve months, making some plans for the next twelve. Seeing where I am on the Road of Life, and if I like where I seem to be headed.
It's also a time of harvests, tangible and intangible. Despite the horrific things in recent world events and possible things to come, my life is pretty good. I have a wonderfully supportive and understanding mate; I get along with my family and friends; I have a nice home, a decent job, and a beloved beast dog. I've learned to identify most of the plants growing in my garden, to bake a decent loaf of bread, to do an acceptable three-quarter shimmy, and to trust my instincts. I've started a graduate school program, survived tremendous change at work (with more to come), and participated in saving enough dough to start thinking about buying a house.
I've also realized the depths of my selfishness, my inability to stay focused for too long on things that don't involve me. I am deeply saddened by recent events, and by the reactions of those around me. But I'm also disappointed in myself for not feeling as mush as everyone else seems to. None of this really affects me, at least not yet. It just doesn't sink into me, and while I feel sad and scared, I don't seem to be capable of the depths of grief and anger those around me are experiencing. And frankly I'm afraid to feel it as strongly as they seem to. If I were a better person, a better American, a less cynical-yet-idealistic soul… maybe I too could grieve and have catharsis.
But I feel that focusing on the positive and looking at the light side of hope is especially important right now. Our American holiday of Thanksgiving comes too late, way after all the harvests are finished. Now is the time to take stock, prepare for the cold, make a list of what you are thankful for, what you have accomplished. I am so grateful to have many friends surrounding me, tolerating my failures and weaknesses, and teaching me with their examples of kindness and patience. I am who I am, and I am a creature of weakness and fear. I am simultaneously a creature capable of immense strength and love. I believe all people are capable of both, and that at some point, on some level, they make a choice of whether they will live and act out of fear, out of love, or in a place of balance. Half in the light, half in the darkness, there can be comfort and safety and equilibrium.
You can make your own equinox.