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"Attention. Attention. Class, settle down. Mr. Johnson, get in your chair now -- don't make me stun you again, I don't think your grades could take another missed lecture.
"Today we'll be covering more of the collapse of Man's third age... specificly the Cyanea Phebus. So many blank faces. Please, please, can anyone tell me what I'm talking about. Cyanea Phebus. Anyone? Yes, you Miss Sodbuster. Indeed. Indeed. The Telekinetic Jellyfish. Quite so. "We all know that Lord Alphabet subjugated most of the Northern Hemisphere in the early half of the 21st century. His vast hordes of juggernaut jellyfish floated freely across the frozen landscapes of Canada, Greenland, Russia, Norway, Sweden and Finland. These flying monstrosities were not only equipped with toxic poisons that no amount of vinegar, alcohol and meat tenderizer could stop - but what they couldn't squeeze their ways into they could rip asunder with tremendous psycho-kinetic blasts. "It was the strain of this assault that crashed the global economy (and status quo) that led the to rise of Legion of Seven. Had not Lord Alphabet's jellyfish succumbed to certain flaws, it would undoubtably have only been a legion of one, well, possibly two... but in the end he had to share power with everyone else. So, let's see who's done their homework - who can tell me some of the failings of the Cyanea Phebus? "Yes, You Mr. Srong. Aha. Yes. Quite, the dependence on cold weather. They simply weren't bred for warmer climates. Since they were all adapted from the Lion Jellyfish, the warmer weather of the Southern climates impeded their advancement like tacks to a waterballon chariot. Even the more temperate climates were still off limits to his advances. I'm sure that if he wanted to he could have also controlled Antarctica, but then, who would? But the warm climate alone was not enough. His initial assault took place in the Summer of 2024, so that he could gain a foothold and launch his invasion of the Northern United States and Russia in the Winter. Despite his limited success in Russia, Zarkot stopped him adamantly in Wisconsin. How was this done? "Mr. Johnson? Hmm. Err. No. I'm afraid that was a design feature, not a failure. All jellyfish depend on a symbiotic relationship with their support feeder algae. Without those algae to break up foods for them the jellyfish eventually have to start digesting themselves. Lord Alphabet did his work ahead of time, and programmed a self destruct mechanism into every gigantic jellyfish he used. He'd done his homework... there was to be no rebellion, no servants turning on their master. Every servitor jellyfish served loyally until the day it starved to death and fell from the heavens in a great cascade of water and nematocysts. Can anyone think of another flaw? "Really Miss Sodbuster, let's give someone else a try... I'd find it unlikely you'd not have done the homework - you're simply too predictable, and I assure you - that will be your downfall. Now than, anyone? "No, Mr Ullsten. It wasn't because they were tasty. Well, yes. They are tasty. I'll give you that... but Zarkot hardly got people to attack the things by telling them they were tasty. Anyone? "Yes. Correct. It was the non-isolation of his breeding pods. Lord Alphabet only ever made one central breeding station, and while quite hidden, that left his creations subject to a single vector for infection. In January of 2025 his entire stock of Jellyfish were plagued with a single virulent strain of Cnidaria cholera. Although he eventually managed to breed an immune strain, the momentum of his assault was lost, and by the time he resumed, the rest of the seven already had footholds through-out the world. Remember this lesson, when you leave this class - this school - never put all your eggs into one basket. Especially in matters of bio-engineering and genetics. "The odd thing is that, even now, years later, we don't know exactly which of the seven planted the virus - and there are some that even claim it was a simple mutation of the existing cholera virus. But I'll leave that for you to find out, class. For this weekend's homework you will tell me which of the Legion of Seven you thought brought an end to Lord Alphabet's army, and why you think so. "Remember, next lecture is on the building of memorials and the construction of tombs, what we should learn from the past. There's a reason why the Pyramids are still here and the Colossus of Rhodes is not - so read chapter 5 in your Bilawski and I'll see you on Tuesday." |