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"Hi, and welcome again to another episode of This Old
Exoskeleton. Joining me today is Bogman Vax of the Beta
Colonies. Say hi to all the folks, Bogman."
"Hi." "Bogman, you've got yourself one classic exoskeleton here. It's a Exarate-55 from Pharate Industries -- you really don't see frames like this anymore do you?" "Nope." "A strong durable framework, plenty of distributed load bearing struts, and a simple design which leads to wonderful potential for mods and adaptations. Whether you're just going to be using it as an all-purpose lifter, or whether it's going to be the basis for a hostile environment intrusion platform -- this baby is certainly the place to start." "Ayup." "Let's give it the old look-over to see what we've got to work with." "Ok." "Aha... as you can see behind this corroded outer casing, the framework is still in one piece. Give that puppy a good strong whack with your mallet there... aye. Listen to that ring. That's one solid piece of work. All that corrosion you see there is just the external shell. This was probably a show piece used in a department store... never really intended for outdoor use. I suspect that we'll find that most of the wiring will need to be replaced, although the central power and computing core should still be sealed in the center pod. Yeah. Look at that... tell-tails are all still green... just lovely." "Ugh." "Oh, yeah. That's probably the original pilot. He didn't seem to have survived any better than the external shell -- but there you go. This thing was never designed for any combat and it's obvious from these pock marks that someone was using the wrong tool for the wrong job." "Oh?" "Don't get me wrong. If you wanted to outfit this lovely with all the latest gear, you'd have one handy dandy weapons platform. But who in their right mind would rely on half-inch plastics and zero cabin enclosure for any sort of military application? I'd recommend high power air treatments for getting rid of all that organic detritus. The plastic, on the other hand, will take a little more elbow grease -- but it should come off in solid chunks."
"As you can see, we've gone ahead and stripped this Exarate clear of everything we weren't going to use. As I suspected, the power core and CPU were still in working order. The old neural connector seems to have suffered the same fate as the original pilot, but Bogman is going to be replacing the 55's direct lobe-tasp with a classic HUD and joystick I/O. I know, I know... but you know how those Beta Colonists are about intrusive brain surgery." "Hey!" "Just kidding... besides, with a nice classic interior, it's given me and idea for a nice..." "Mecha?" "Well, no. I was going to say exterior -- but you do bring up an important point. My motto has always been the right tool for the right job. And there's no denying that there are times when a Swiss army knife is an all-in-one wonder that saves the day. But let me ask you... how many times have you used your Swiss army knife in the garage? If you're like me, the answer is never. If you've got a specific job, well, bring the best tool for that job. There's no need to spend all that extra money and mass in getting a skeleton to wear a second face. Leave the multi-form mecha's to the pampered rich kids still living on Earth -- with their tricked out low riders and hot-rod metamorphing GNDN bots. Just keep it simple, a real man drives a real machine." "Oh... "And as for this real machine, Bogman's going to be using this baby to salvage various archaeotech from the wastelands, and he assures me that the best finds are the heavy ones stuck in high-rad quickmelt. Since he's going to be exposed to that much toxin and radiation on a daily basis, we're going to have to give him a fully enclosed cabin and some decent shielding. For this I managed to round up 45 tons of reclaimed Ceres apolysis-reflex plating. It'll give Bogman the protection he needs, and give the skeleton that nice classic Ceres Hegemony look." "Roxxors!" "Join us next week as we put the final touches on this old 55, including the installation of some cuticulin insulation, retrofitting an old Jovian FOF system onto the main CPU, and the final sclerotization of the hull to ward off any potential gene damage to Bogman when he goes wading in the wastelands. See you then -- say goodbye, Bogman." "Bye." |