[ As seen as an advertisement in Modern Fitness, July 2020 ]

With the fall of most governments on both the national and local scale, many of you are worried about who will protect you - the new world citizen. Without the FDA there is no warning on harmful drugs, without a surgeon general there is no investigation into your health issues, and without countless other government agencies, you, the citizen, are at risk.

Well worry no more, MSUncleTrent-2020 (formerly MS MicroGov) is here, just a download away. Just install MSUncleTrent on your pocket computer and you have a world of power and advice at your fingertips.

Worried about what geneticly engineered foods might trigger a toxic allergy? Bring MSUncleTrent with you shopping...

You have previously told me that you've an allergy to peanuts, Mr. Roberts. Those Sony(tm) Cucumbers have been cross bred with thirty different brands of legumes. Please try some of those fine Redmond grapes down the isle instead.

Worried about the local political climate? For a nominal monthly fee MSUncleTrent will download the latest developments from MSNBC and MSIntelligenceService and keep you apprized in a timely fashion.

Mr. Roberts, it has come to my attention that the levels of corruption in the local police dept. have risen to dangerously high levels and collapse is imminent. I advice you switch your brand of local protection to either the S.V. Security Co. or the Keystone Insurance LTD. I also notice that you have run low on shotgun shells, would you like me to order some more for you?

MSUncleTrent is completely configurable and personable. MSUncleTrent comes with six different personalities, and more full featured personalities are available as upgrades. Those of you who have lost someone to Intercorporate Rightsizing can upload any stored vocal archives to MSUncleTrent's personality matrix... instant lost loved one.

I know you miss me, Bob, but you know that I have your best interests at heart. Trust me, sell your Cisco stock.

We know that despite the hardships that the collapse brought on all of us, many of you retain your core beliefs in goodness and rightness. Well, worry not... MSUncleTrent is fully compatible with MSConscience. Merely sync the two once a week and MSUncleTrent will keep your morality in mind when making its recommendations.

Bob, I think you want to reconsider buying your electricity from Mitsubishi Electric... It's a well known fact that they subsidize the terrorist GNU Liberation League, and we know that your love of the first amendment is jeopardized by the GNULL's anti-peace actions.

And more than anything else, MSUncleTrent provides security. Just as it examines every action you perform, it also examines every action by every owner of MSUncleTrent. With such vigilance, only criminals will not own MSUncleTrent.

I must warn you, Mr. Roberts, that you should not install that version of MSWord on more than one machine before purchasing an extra license. That would be illegal, and we wouldn't want to do something stupid, now, would we?