jasona - Column for 10/30

Interview, Patrick McNab

"Hello, Patrick, I'm Dr. Vimes, please... won't you have a seat. No, no, not there, oh, let me help you up... yes, there you go."

"Ah, er, sorry about that."

"Not to worry, it came with the office, I'm sure they have another one around here somewhere."

"I'm usually not this clumsy. Honest."

"That's ok. I understand you haven't been feeling yourself of late."

"Oh, no, much better now."

"Really?"

"Yes, yes... no need to worry over me."

"Hmmm... let me see... you were complaining about headaches... yes... here we go - Fearsome headaches, and trembling."

"Oh, that's all gone away."

"Oh? Just like that?"

"Yes. Just like that. They said it would and it went. Poof. All better."

"They? Dr. Bartlet? Did he give you something for the headaches? Hmmm, that's not right. You're not his..."

"Oh no... it wasn't Dr. Bartlet."

"Was it an orderly? They're not supposed to give you anything that isn't on your chart."

"Oh no... heavens no. They said it would go away. They."

"They?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, I don't follow you."

"They did. They said they were causing the headaches but that that was just a passing thing. Weren't nothing to be worried about."

"Patrick... who exactly told you your headaches would go away?"

"Hmmm, you know, I don't think I ever got their name."

"But you saw them here at the hospital?"

"Saw them? No. Never seen 'em. But I can hear 'em all right. Ever since the headaches started. At first I thought they were the police."

"The police? Do you have a record, Mr. McNab? Are you in trouble with the law?"

"Oh, no. I thought they were the police on account of the bull horn."

"Bull horn?"

"Yeah. But it weren't no bull horn. They were just talking in my skull."

"In your skull... you can hear them in your skull."

"Yes... well, they live there."

"The voices live in your skull?"

"Voice and all. They moved in and made themselves at home."

"And you never got their name?"

"Nope... but I recognizes 'em from their voice. They're the only ones who talk to me with bull horns. 'cept it isn't really bull horns... just sounds that way since they're talking to me from inside my skull."

"And you first heard them right after you started getting these headaches?"

"Yes... Oh, is that water? I'm powerful thirsty."

"You please. Go ahead."

"Oh. I'm sorry... My hands ain't what they used to be."

"Are you trembling, Mr. McNab?"

"Sokay... won't last long."

"Nurse? Nurse... Can you bring a wheelchair for Mr. McNab."

"Honest Doc, it ain't nothin'. I'm being preserved."

"Preserved? What do you mean? ... Nurse!"

"They're memorizing me. From the inside out you could say. I won't be need'n my body for much longer."

"Nurse!"

"Yep. After they settled in they started learn'n everything there is to know about me... It's like talking to myself at times... hehe... it's kinda funny what they remember now and I've forgotten."

"Nurse, please help me with him."

"Why once they started eating my childhood, it's like I had my own son to talk to... only it was me."

"Mr. McNab, please, get into the chair."

"Oh, you're putting up too much of a fuss, doc... but that's ok... I can see how you'd be worried."

"Mr. McNab, please, you're bleeding."

"Oh, I just stop that up with cotton. It happened a couple times a while back. They get really hungry at times."

"Oh, Jesus. Look at that..."

Columns by jasona