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"Smidley, our ratings are in the tub, give me what you got... talk to me, boy."
"Our go-to guys in marketing has just come up with a doozy, sir, you're sure to love it." "It's gotta be hot hot hot, Smidley, all our season openers went toes to the elevator. Lay it on me." "Here's the take: Zombie & little grey alien - they fight crime." "I don't see it, Smidley. Sell it to me. Make it breath." "Well, we're coving all our bases. It's a cop show, it's a buddy show, it's a horror show, it's a science fiction show." "That's all good -- but why's it going to cook?" "Well, he's a zombie, and he loves brains, and his partner's got a one great big brain. I mean - huge! Brain feasting jokes are just the low hanging fruit here." "And this has demographics?" "Does it? Sure. Packed with 'em. I see the zombie as a teenager, we get that handsome silent type that's all the rage... wrestling with his own inner demons. Just think of all the analogs we can sell - drugs, peer pressure, alienation." "I thought the other one was the alien." "That too, but we're thinking of selling him on females, 30 to 50." "Soft and lovable?" "Well, the cranium, certainly." "And the zombie, the youngsters will go for a decaying corpse?" "Well, he'll be a Hollywood zombie... all eyebrows and sultry looks - plus, we'll make him a snappy dresser." "I don't know, Smidley - hard to get young talent that can read lines." "Oh, that's the beauty of it. We push the envelope on the stereotype, sir. Strong and silent. Very silent. We just foley on footsteps and heavy breathing and we can have our pick of any pretty face." "So the other one will be the talker? We'll need someone who can deliver." "Shouldn't be a problem, sir, plenty of desperate short actors out there. We can even take the ugly ones, sir, he's layers upon layers of make-up." "Does this thing have legs, Smidley? Tell me it can run." "Like a frog in a French prison, sir. To go with the zombie's alienation, we got fish out of water with the alien -- and then they can help each other out when understanding women. I see the alien having a thing for short-order cooks." "The marketing boys come up with that?" "No, I just think the world's ready for it. It's quirky. And I think the zombie should have father issues as well... maybe his father was a crooked cop... or an evil alien... or a crooked evil alien cop." "So the son is a zombie alien?" "Oh no, hmmm, maybe he's adopted." "By the alien?" "That's a good angle too, sir -- sort of Batman and Robin meets Men in Black." "Only it's a rotting Robin." "Yeah." "This baby got a name? How about Ghouly and the Grey?" "I like the way you think, sir." "Well, that's why the zombies love me." |