Cheese Eating Bastards

Damn them and their salty eyes.

They know who they are.

The two of them.

Sulking and plotting, plotting and skulking.

They did it just to sabotage my Cant writing record.

"Maybe if we can get Jasona hooked on another level design game", they schemed together, "maybe then he'll forget a Cant article once in a while. Then won't we be able to lord it over him. Oh yes... we'll put on our bright purple jodhpurs (1) and mount our high horse and sing vocal praises to ourselves."

Well I've got news for you two... you'll not get away with it.

Oh no.

Even if you get me sucked into your new games (2)... even if I get pulled into the dark suckling underbelly of level design (Lord knows I'm weak)... even if I don't come out of my haze until four AM... you will not defeat me!

Oh no.

I will put my fingers to the grindstone, I will let the boney stubs rattle away at the keyboard just to mock you. There is a reason I curry the favor of the zombie legions... who else do you think can get the body to type at this hour of the morning? A wise man will never architect past midnight, but I don't need to be a wise man to raise the bleeding pen to you!(3).

You will not gain cant-column-steady-submission-record-holding-title-mastery that easily.

Oh no. Big thumbing of noses at you. Ha HA!

I wonder if there's some sort of level-builders-anonymous I should be attending. It's just so wonderful and peaceful, so challenging and rewarding... how could it be wrong? How? (4)

i,jasona

1) Believe it or not, I'm a horrible speller. To get Jodhpurs right I'd normally have to spend minutes and minutes (minutes I don't have) going hit and miss at dictionary.com. Fortunately I was just sleep-racked enough to first take as stab at asking Google for "horse pants".

2) Operation Flashpoint... yeah, the graphics are crude, and they slam you against one hard brick wall of realism where fog of war is concerned... but oh... my... god... have you seen all the tricks you can pack into mission creation? It's so sweet. Oh lordy, if Neverwinter Nights is even half this much fun in level design I'm just going to quit my job and curl up in front of the computer for the next twelve months.

3) Oh dear, that's not a good argument to make. And while I'm at it, what sort of an insult am I bringing to bear with "Cheese eating bastards". Lord knows I would proudly stand up for cheese-eaters every where as a noble and righteous group. Especially the stinky cheese eaters. So where the heck did "cheese eating" come into my lexicon of curses? Someone said it was a Chinese curse... do the Chinese hate cheese?

4) Ok, this warning probably comes to late for most of you, but unless you're Harlock or Lictor, or you happen to find yourself prancing around your living room in Jodhpurs, you can ignore this Cant.