Sure, they're blood-suckers, they're the predators of mankind, and that's a grand basis for a monster. Throw in a little cold logic and steely mercilessness (think Spock, think Ming), now add a dash of unslakeable killing machine and inhuman tenacity (thing Jaws, think Terminator) and you've got a frightening groove going there.

But just answer me this, buttercup, what's with the bats? What's with the sunlight, the running water, and the garlic? What's with the God damn silver bullet?

Bats

Right. It's unstoppable, it's relentless, it's the ultimate predator. *Squeak* Give me a break. You're not scaring anyone now. Lets at least give it a form that is terrifying. Say a spider. They can climb walls, have that sort of hypno eyes, suck blood, entrap their prey with their fearsome strength, frighten the bejezus out of people, and they don't flitter around like some wiggly rubber thing on a wire. I'm sure in the nineteenth century bats were quite the scary thing to find entrapped in a person's hair, but go ahead... tell me you wouldn't be more willied-out by having a large spider trapped in your hair.

Sunlight

I'm sure this had a good reason for being made up. I mean, you can't see well in the dark, and how scary is a vampire in the daylight? Well, he should be damn scary! He's hungry and blood on his fangs! He's got huge nasty fingernails! He's got those big mentallo eyes that make the most determined of opponents burble and gibber. Burst into flames when touched by sunlight, gah, at least the evil witch of the West had the decency to melt when touched with water.

Doorway Rules

Wait. If I don't invite the pale corpse licker into my house, he can't come in an hurt me? I can stand in the doorway and flick his nose with immunity? What are you trying to do... empower me to death?

Running Water

Does he get dizzy? Is it an intense fear of drowning? Does the vampire get caught up in the magic of the moment and start to sing to the moon above in enrapt joy?

Garlic

Look, the first claim that anyone ever made about garlic was that it purified the blood. Who the hell is going to tell me that vampires wouldn't want purified blood? If it's uncut, is it going to kill them? Do we find Italian vampires twitching in the moonlight suffering from overdose? You'd think someone who lived on dead people would probably want a little garlic in his breath.

Silver Bullet

This sounds more like something the Lone Ranger's publicist put in the mix. Something to boost the poor boy's sagging appeal. Get the new Lone Ranger action figure, now with vampire killing action!

A bunch of superstitious observer error if you ask me. Do we find this sort of haphazard collection of quirks in any of our other terrors? Is the mummy prone to fits of melancholy? Is the creature from the Black Lagoon a narcoleptic? Does the werewolf have to walk thrice around a spring before drinking from it? No. None of the other myths is so riddled with literary handcuffs. It sounds like one of your classic little kids gather round and make the beastie more and more terrifying challenge:

"I heard he sucks the blood out of those who don't come to dinner on time"
"I heard he never has to eat anything he doesn't like, like lima beans, and spaghetti with garlic and clam sauce"
"I heard he's anti-kryptonian, and he absorbs the power of the moon!"
"... and you can only shoot him with a moon-bullet"
"a bullet made out of cheese?"
"no, no... silver."