More Interviewing HintsOne of the first articles I ever wrote for Cant was a series of tips for those people who are interviewing for a new job. Well, recently, I have once again joined the ranks of those trans-industrious few who are looking for work. I went back and re-read my earlier article and realized that I'd missed some basic points; so I'll remedy that here.A) Come ready to be interviewed Have a little something to eat right before the interview. You're probably going to be locked away in a conference room for four or more hours in a row and you'll need your energy. Sure, they're going to offer you soda and coffee... but do you really want to be any more edgy during the interview? Now, when I say light, I mean light. Have a yogurt, or a couple of apples. You might even borrow a page from the marathon runner's book and have a nice big pasta meal the night before... pasta, not chili. Do not have a huge double helping of chili the night before. I don't care if your intestinal tract rivals the pipework of a hotel boiler room; if you make decent chili, it's going to have so much garlic and hot-sauce that the scent from your skin alone will be toxic. B) Dress the part This is always rough going in sight unseen -- you really have no idea what the dress code is for any particular place. I suggest camping out around the street from their business the day before the interview -- rent out a room and bring your binoculars (1). Scope out what everyone is wearing, and just dress one notch above that. You'll want to be able to say "You can parade me in front of clients and I won't let you down." There are some things that are just never appropriate to wear for an interview: gym clothes, your lunch, clown shoes, grease paint (2), stained t-shirts, and tin foil hats. C) Suspect everyone Come on... who can innocently ask questions for four hours in a row? Just how much do they think you know? What is it they're trying to hide? Look at the way they're studying you -- some of them copy down notes furiously which others act "on a whim" and ask you the first thing that comes "to their mind." It's like some demented good cop/bad cop routine. Keep your guard up... if you can hold out, one of them will slip. Then you'll know where to go from there. These guys have got to be up to something. You know it, I know it, and they're starting to suspect that you know that they know it. Did you remember to check where the emergency exits were located? D) Taunt them with your Superior Intellect Who's got the brain? You do, baby! Boooyah! Waggle it in front of them. If these guys were zombies they'd need Peptol Bizmol. E) Don't let them see the banana The ancient ones commanded you, you must obey! No one sees the banana. Not even Mr. Phibbs!
i,jasona 1) Heck, if you can bring a telescope, you can spy on their workstations and get the drop on what they're working on. How knowledgeable would you be then, eh?2) You know, anything that smacks of "clown" or "mime" is actually right out -- for almost all interviews. No, make that all interviews. You don't really want that job as a carnival clown -- trust me on this one. |