Synopses January - December 1998
last updated 1/14/99
December Twenty-eighth
No gaming.
Next Week:
December Twenty-first
Game: Handle Magic
Master: Karl
Players: Neal, Kathleen, Allen, Jason
Characters:
Quotes of the Evening: "That's a lesser use of mind control. 'You will
pick up the tab' 'Yes... pay bill...'" - Karl
"Creating horses is difficult, as they are pretty complex." "Ooops - forgot to
make their assholes - looks like these horses won't last too long." - Karl,
Kathleen
"Mood ring eyes: A standard wizard spell." - Jason
The long-lost Emfield ruby, broken into eight pieces, has become the focus
of a search by the forces of evil. Needless to say, our protagonists are asked
to obtain the missing fragments before the villians can, for the Emfield ruby
augments magical power greatly, and in the wrong hands could be catastrophically
dangerous.
The fragment lost with the death of Zos, and the destruction of the isle of
Malabar, is easily located, and removed from its watery resting spot. Alambar
the teacher has the fragment given to Elena, leaving the players six more
fragments to recover. Tabar's is in a museum in the city of Ileniad, on Eremdor,
Bartok's is on the Isle of Shon, in Kargad, Norfel's is held by a merchant
house in Talim Eremdor, Erv Zimdal's is lost in the Dragon Reaches of the
far west, Fozz may still have his, in his hermitage in the east, and Tsushima
has taken Shin Dao's and been lost in the myriad dimensions.
Of these, having started with the recovery of Zos's fragment, the players fly
to Ileniad, to retrieve the fragment in the museum there. They arrive
immediately after its theft, find the theives as they flee back towards
Talim Eremdor, and cow them into handing over the fragment. It looks like
the competition is on the move as well, and the race is heating up.
Next Week: The next fragment
December Fourteenth
Game: ?
Master:
Players:
Characters:
Quotes of the Evening: "Hmm. 'Example characters: Leper. Patsy. Mark.
Three-year old.' You know, I don't like these examples..." - Karl
Next Week:
December Seventh
Game: Kult
Master: Kathleen
Players: Allen, Neal, Jason, Karl
Characters: Harris, Dr. Anthony Boyd-Wat, William Pennyworth, Andrew
Keeley
Quotes of the Evening: "I'm perfectly fucking happy, okay?" - Boyd-Wat
"No, I killed them all a long time ago. The only thing that can stop me now is my
karma." - Pennyworth
"To sabotage someone, just put a NAMBLA bumpersticker on their car."
"I see the party is dividing into the law-abiding weirdo half and the criminal but
normal half." - Karl
After discovering additional information about the kidnapping, evidence is
pointing towards the complicity of the girl's natural father, whose clinic
downtown we investigate disguised as HVACC workers. Most unnatural and
disturbing things are discovered, including a boardroom table with runnels
for blood sacrifices, but the girl is found in the basement, and freed
after several ferocious and not-quite-normal dogs are put down.
Next Week:
November Thirtieth
Game: Kult
Master: Kathleen
Players: Karl, Allen, Jason
Characters: Andrew Keeley, Harris, William Pennyworth
Quotes of the Evening: "So, he gets us in, I get us out, and you cover
it all up." - Allen
"We'll work with them hand in glove. They get to be the gloves." - Karl
A little girl is kidnapped, and our protagonists investigate. Clues beyond
the scope of the police are found.
Next Week: We act upon our findings.
November Twenty-third
Game: Call of Cthulhu
Master: Neal
Players:Karl, Jason, Kathleen, Allen, Dave
Characters:Professor Steakham, Father Kepler, Carol Barteloni,
John Sebastian, ?
Quotes of the Evening: "It's very important not to mention his name."
"His name?" "Hastur. D'oh!" - Kepler, Steakham
"Does the asylum have group rates?" - Jason
"The walls are black, but glow when you touch them." "Mood walls!" - GM,
Jason
Attempting to escape the horrid place in which they have found themselves,
the party enters the alien city. It is a place of unnatural geometry, and
a great deal of sanity is lost before the party climb the highest tower
to confront H*****, who awaits them. Luckily, a dimensional vortex is
ascending the tower, and those able to leap into it are returned to the
proper world.
Where yet more horror awaits, as the play promised as the evenings
entertainment is going on, while the audience weeps blood and the actors
babble their lines beyond all sanity. Distracting the audience, however,
serves to weaken the power of the hellish phenomenon, and the players
are finally able to break the spell. After which, of course, the police
get to clean up, and we all get to go talk to nice men with white rooms.
Next Week: We try our hands at Kult
November Sixteenth
No gaming.
Next Week:
November Ninth
Game: Call of Cthulhu
Master: Neal
Players:Karl, Jason, Kathleen, Allen, Dave
Characters:Professor Steakham, Father Kepler, Carol Barteloni,
John Sebastian, ?
Quotes of the Evening: "It wasn't an eight week run. It was an eight
week show." - Dave
"He had a bit of an unhealthy interest in... sex." "Which you cured him of?"
- Psychiatrist, Barteloni
"But they're all evil - or theater critics. Same thing." - Dave
A wealthy socialite and dabbler in theater, Anthony Carmichael, whom several
party members met at the recent egyptology exhibit at Wrexham Collage,
invites the party to his estate for a lavish costume party. And lavish doesn't
do justice to the immesity and wealth of the Carmichael estate, the guests,
or the party.
Everything is going swimmingly until a game of hide-and-seek results in the
discovery by the players of several grisly murders. Things seem to have gone
horribly, horribly wrong - but as the party attempts to flee the estate,
they find themselves unable to! Returning via the library, and ancient and
evil book asserts itself over our heroes, who suddenly find themselves
in some horrible otherworld, near an abandoned city and black lake, upon
whose shores a twisted figure capers...
Next Week: twisted figures and other things
November Second
Game: Western Handle
Master: Karl
Players: Kathleen, Neal, Allen, Jason
Characters: Brett Colorado, Augustus Washington Jones, Taylor Jones,
Burning Owl
Quotes of the Evening: "He's a politician - he does the baby-kissing
thing. Well, except that he uses his tongue." - Karl
"When should I come back?" "How many of them are there?" - Driver, Augustus
(on time spent in a whorehouse)
A string of prostitute murders in Chinatown leads Sung Lu, head of the
Shung Huey, to seek help. Marshall Gruber points him at the party, and
the investigation is on. The Suey Sing, an opposing gang, offers difficulties,
but nothing that our pistoleers can't solve.
Apparently, the murders occur on the evenings of the clandestine visits of
gubernatorial candidate Horace Hiller to the Scarlet Bamboo House. After
fending off still more knife-wielding maniacs, the party heads off to
speak with him, at the Palace hotel.
Next Week: mmmm Cthulhu
October Twenty-sixth
Game: Stormbringer
Master: Geoff
Players: Neal, Karl, Allen, Jason
Characters: Sennash bel Hammad, Niwa do Vezhan, Var Potax, Ilsvar
Quotes of the Evening: "We gave themselves a chance to express themselves
through violence." - Jason
"Yes, but if we light the guards on fire, that will be a distraction!"
- Allen
"How long has he been mayor?" "665 years - in face, it's his anniversary tomorrow.
Why do you ask?" - Karl, Geoff
"They won't allow you to torture them." "Oh, it's a union job, eh?" - Geoff, Neal
In the city of Caliph, more clues are discovered as to the whereabouts of the
painter Staleat, on whose latest painting the fate of the universe may hinge.
Misdirection by the mayor and assault by cultist of the Brotherhood of
the Pure Flame only serve to complicate the search.
Next Week: Gun-totin in the Old West.
October Nineteenth
Game: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
Master: Dave
Players: Kathleen, Jason, Allen, Neal, Karl, Jim
Characters:Terra, Tang Kar, Drul, Boromere Tonhaen, Ynogbard, ?
Quotes of the Evening: "No, it's never Ynogbard's turn in the barrel!"
"Ah - the no-holes bard." - Karl, Kathleen
"Extreme Dwarf Sports! Get a WWI helmet - dwarf darts! Get an elephant,
give the dwarves croquet mallets and tell them to aim for the nuts! Woo-eee!"
"In Beldar, the temples grow on the north side of the mountains." - Dave
"How do you track people on the open sea?" "Boatprints." - Neal, Karl
"You're a cleric - do something clerical. File something or something." - Karl
Lord Armstrong of Teltrad hires the party to retrieve the Eye of Sharyl from
the lost city of Zara-tor to the south, as parties inimical to Teltrad are
also seeking it, and it holds great power. In the mountains, the parties
happen upon a goblin-orc battle, which they watch, and then slay the victors,
rescuing an old man. A subsequent meeting with dwarves of the Bolstagger
clan provides a guide, and they come upon the lost city without further
difficulty. Exploration of the ruined temple ensues, and while camping
therein that night, a horrible monster is encountered and driven off.
Next Week: Back to Stormbringer
October Twelfth
Game: Castle Falkenstein
Master: Karl
Players: Jason, Neal, Kathleen, Allen
Characters: Dr. Challenger, Nigel Horace Nelson, Justine Marie
St. Claire, Porthos Fontaine
Quotes of the Evening: "In my experience, monkeys very rarely wear little
red hats." - Neal
"Oh, this is very bad. The creatures you are describing are an elemental force of
destruction; there are three of them..." "It's Hanson!" - Kathleen, Jason
A rash of kidnappings sends the party into the sewers, along with a
courageous Parisian police lieutenant. They are accosted by magical
dread, evil Sidhe minion (redcaps), and an horrible sewer dwelling
monster, but find their way through to the basement of the Parisian
house of Aleistair Crowley. After eavesdropping on a meeting between
him and a dark Sidhe, Dahout, at which the summoning of a major demonic
figure is discussed, the players burst in and have him arrested.
However, the children are apparently at the site of the summoning, which
the players locate in an old riverfront warehouse, at the end of that
particular branch of the sewer. The children are saved, but Crowley
has made good his escape from the prison, and attempts to summon the
beast. Without sacrifices, however, it is not interested, and although
Crowley escapes on a riverboat, the creature leaves this plane.
In gratitude, the Seelie court gifts the party with a statue of Napoleon.
Apparently, it contains the great general himself, able to be released
at a time of need. Wacky Faerie.
Next Week: AD&D
October Fifth
Game: Stormbringer
Master: Geoff
Players: Neal, Karl, Allen
Characters: Sennash bel Hammad, Niwa do Vezhan, Var Potax
Quotes of the Evening: "Hey - look on the bright side. With these horrible
mutations, we're no longer wanted men, in any sort of the word." - Neal
"The straits of Chaos?" "Yes - they are shaped like a lightning bolt." - Neal, Karl
"You know, if you're fleeing to Pan Tang, life must be pretty bad everywhere else."
- Geoff
"Did I say 'cream' filling? Sorry - I meant 'maggot'." - Karl
A war is predicted by an ancient prophet, and the destruction of the
universe; our protagonists must travel to the city of Calif, to find
the painter Staleat, and (according to the prophet Tranith 'the Holy')
allow him to finish his current painting. We do so - but the signs become
increasingly mixed as to what exactly will happen when the painting is
finished.
The war has arrived, and we enter the besieged city of Calif to find
the painter. A meeting with the mayor provides some insight, but the party
is stalked by cultists bent on slaying them, and everyone has something
to hide...
Next Week: We find out what happened in Falkensteinian Paris.
September Twenty-eighth
Game:Call of Cthulhu
Master:Neal
Players:Karl, Jason, Kathleen, Allen, Lauren
Characters:Professor Steakham, Father Kepler, Carol Barteloni,
John Sebastian, Holly Kraken
Quotes of the Evening: "It's the Beavis of the Elder Gods! 'Aiee! I need
sanity for my bunghole!'" - Jason
"He just left - how can he have pushed the desk up against the door?" "I suggest
you don't ask yourself that." - Karl, Lauren
"Do not develop film for people returning from R'lyeh." - Kathleen
The party dug up (heh heh) enough into to be
fairly certain that the mummies were working with/controlling
the prof. The clues were found when, upon breaking into his
lab after he had left late in the evening, they found a hidden
passage in the lower storeroom, which was guarded by zombies.
Thus began the san loss.
They summoned two police officers. One was ripped apart by the
zombies, the other went insane. So much for protecting and serving.
But the party members destroyed that zombie, left to regroup, and
returned to find Hoff and the now-mobile mummies engaged in some
sort of ritual that involved sacrificing live victims. Through
the judicious use of shotguns, they managed to defeat the zombies,
mummies, and Hoff, at the cost of major chunks of their collective
san. Fortunately, Nyarlathotep did not appear. Unfortunately, a
dimensional shambler did. Realizing that, much as they wanted to,
they couldn't run screaming into the night at this point (which,
by the way, is pretty much what your character did), another
application of shotgun diplomacy was deemed appropriate. After
killing/dispelling the shambler, the party members then faced the
police, who, though suspicious, were quickly persuaded that
something bad had been stopped. Maybe someone was trying to loot
the artifacts, and poor Professor Hoff and a gallant police officer
were killed by the criminals. The oddly greenish and semi-decayed
criminals. Yes, better to let this case be forgotten, especially
with one officer confined to a padded cell.
Oh, and Father Kepler learned a few spells. And a few new phobias.
The GM setup for this adventure:
http://senate.republic.org/~neal/adventures/mummy.html
Next Week: ?
September Twenty-first
Game:Stormbringer
Master:Allen
Players:Jason, Karl, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: Ilsvar, Niwa do Vezhan, Rocca, Sennash bel Hammad
Quotes of the Evening: "How chaotic is this world? I have my
chaosometer." - Karl
"Trouts. With Hats." "That reminds me of a song I had to learn in my youth."
- Neal, Jason
"Crab people - they're sentient, but oh-so-tasty!" - Karl
"Program! Can't tell your dimensions without a program!" - Jason
"The demon doesn't need to sleep? Suddenly I don't either." - Neal
"Ghost ships? Them's good eatin'!" - Jason
Escaping the dimension of Knife, we flee through myriad dimensions in our
attempt to locate the rogue mistress and return to the evil queen, who
can remove the demon hearts. We emerge from Kinfe's dimension into a water
world, riven by battle between sea gods. With the assistance of the pirate
Kirian, we sail to an altar, which allows us entrance to the undersea temple
that is keeping Straasha out of this world (although Sennash is rent asunder
by an enraged demon in the process).
Ultimately, a pleased Straasha sends us back to the Rogue Mistress, and back
the the evil queen who kidnaps us. Various relationships are revealed, and
a major demon is kept from the world by the destruction of the queen and
the demon hearts. Boons are granted, and the characters returned to the world.
Next Week: We return to Call of Cthulhu
September Fourteenth
No gaming.
Next Week:
September Seventh
It was labor day - we did not game.
Next Week: CoC, Stormbringer, or maybe something else.
August Thirty-first
Egypt me out of my Sanity
Game:Call of Cthulhu
Master:Neal
Players:Karl, Jason, Geoff, Lauren, Kathleen, Dave
Characters:Professor Steakham, Father Kepler, Jean-Luc Fermain,
Holly Kraken, Carol Barteloni, ?
Quotes of the Evening:"Any time you are describing your residence, and you
use the words 'food slot', it's just not a very nice place." - Karl
"This is my father's bible." "Oh - he was a priest too, eh?" "Yes." - Father Kepler,
Dave
"Got your nose!" "You know, mummies hate that." - Father Kepler, Prof. Steakham
"Those canapes were really bad." "No, those were canopic jars!" - Jean-Luc,
Prof. Steakham
Wrexham college, the university on the outskirts of Boston which employs
Professor Steakham, has a gala event to unveil some new mummies brought back
from Egypt by Professor Simon Hoff. They are highly unusal in several respects,
and at a later private viewing for our protagonists and a few faculty members,
another archaeological professor, Roger Ingham, dies of a massive coronary.
His corpse subsequently disappears from the mortuary, and with the discovery of
several murdered vagrants, sans internal organs, the party rapidly decides to
stake out the mysterious lab where where Prof. Hoff labors late into the night.
Next Week:It's labor day, so we'll be board or console gaming.
August Twenty-fourth
Closed Heart Surgery
Game:Stormbringer
Master:Allen
Players:Jason, Karl, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: Ilsvar, Niwa do Vezhan, Rocca, Sennash bel Hammad
Quotes of the Evening:"Is that armor i hear?" "No, it's not armor - we
are wearing self-mortification devices." Guard, Niwa
"Most peasant mobs carry pitchforks and torches - ours carry churches and
cabers." - Karl
We successfully travel to Albion - once there, the Rogue Mistress puts us down
just outside the main city, where we head in search of a Justin Carrack, who
may have the answer to our chaos mutation problem. Unfortunately, he has left
the city in search of a cure for the chaos waves gripping the planet.
We track him to a deceased wizard; deceased as a result of yet another group
in search of the planar knife. However, the wizards entrapped demon of information
tells us where to go, and we sail the seas south, landing and entering the jungle.
We find the ruins where the gate to the chaos kinfe is, and enter the gate.
Things get strange, then stranger - and we find the knife only to have its
Chaos powers lure in Rocca and knit the knife's soul to hers.
We are ambushed as we leave to sort out matters, but despite their demon-bound
equipment we slay mightily and are triumphant. But what next?
Next Week:Neal leads us down the path of insanity.
August Seventeenth
Turn it up, and rip off the knob
Game:Stormbringer
Master:Allen
Players:Jason, Karl, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: Ilsvar, Niwa do Vezhan, Rocca, Sennash bel Hammad
Quotes of the Evening:"Those aren't normal claws - they're demon claws."
"Don't pick your nose with them." - GM, Neal
"For rescuing the Tenatir, we have a tradition of rewarding-" "You mean he gets
stolen often?" - Maria de tres Pistoles, Ilsvar
"It'll be a cakewalk - but have you ever tried walking on cake?" - Neal
On our escape from the isle of queen Media, we are intercepted by a pirate
ship, the Rogue Mistress.
The Rogue Mistress, having taken us on board, rewards us for returning the
Tolantir, their crewman, to them, with several neat artifacts. It is then
revealed by the captain, Maria de tres Pistoles, that the ship desparately
needs a new entropy configuration device, and that we are going to a crashed
ship in a dead dimension to salvage one.
We arrive on the dimension where an alternate entropy configuration device
is to be found, just as the one on the Rogue Mistress peters out. As we board
the wrecked ship, we meet several engineers, who inform us of the location of
the ECD, and that there are several more engineers who have gone mad down below,
and could we please take them with us?
While the device is removed, Niwa dons a helmet with allows the ship itself to
communicate with him, revealing that the originally encountered engineers are,
in fact, dead, and posessed by energy vampires who would like nothing more than
to be taken on board our ship. We secretly meet the living engineers, trapped
below, who reveal that noise bothers the vampires, so we rig up a sonic gun,
and use it to immobilize them, while the ship self destructs.
Now, off to Albion, and the removal of these accursed demon hearts!
Next Week:The Planar Knife, and removal of our hearts. Um.
August Tenth
Involunteering
Game:Stormbringer
Master:Allen
Players:Jason, Karl, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: Ilsvar, Niwa do Vezhan, Rocca, Sennash bel Hammad
Quotes of the Evening:"That's the problem with Chaos, it's hard to build
cathedrals. - 'okay, build the church. No, tear it down. No, build it. No..." -
Neal
"You take an additional 2 points of damage from your armor becoming superheated."
"But then I wet myself, so it cools down." - GM, Neal
We are kidnapped by the evil and super-chaotic queen Porledemia (or, to be precise,
her jester and minion Astrolgix), and imbued with demon hearts, which will
eventually kill us, although granting great power in the meantime. She will
reward us in addition to removing the hearts if were simply rescue for her
a creature known as the Tolantir, from the palace of queen Media.
Having little choice, we set out do to so - Media's stronghold is located on
a floating island in a plane of floating islands, and we steal an hot-air
balloon from some of her slavers to get there. Slowly undergoing chaos mutations,
we infiltrate the palace, and rescue the Tolantir.
Next Week:We give the thing to Porledemia... or do we?
August Third
I Kissed a Ghoul
Game:Call of Cthulhu
Master:Karl
Players:Jason, Neal, Allen, Kathleen, Geoff, Jim
Characters:Father Kepler, Dr. Edmond Alzon, John Sebastian, Carol Barteloni, Jean-Luc Fermain, Berthol Hecht
Quotes of the Evening:"We know exactly where it is." "No we don't." "Well,
exactly being a dimension." - Dr. Alzon, Father Kepler
"In olden times, everyone was naked, except for the priests - hence, men of the
cloth." - Father Kepler
"Police? The police are cultists! They'll have to change before they could come
and arrest you." - Dr. Alzon
To bolster the ranks of his investigators, Mr. Pickston sends the pathologist Carol
Barteloni and Jean-Luc Fermain to assist at the Von Wecht estate.
Von Wecht having died that very afternoon, the investigators investigate - examining
the corpse, the house, and the servants; they turn out to be dead of an heart
explosion, full of secret rooms (one of which eats Father Kepler), and undead,
respectively. Upon dreaming that night, our heros once more find themselves in
the Dreamlands - greeted by Father Kepler. They discover the location of Abhoth,
from some wandering Dreamlands adventurers, and surmise that Pickston's ledger
was hidden in the cave of that unknowable monstrosity.
They enter the cave, and with a strong minds and stomachs acquire the book. As
night is falling, they strike a bargain with the ghouls, who transport them back
to Earth in exchange for corpses, to be delivered. They return, destroy the ritual
being conducted by Timothy Hart, kill a number of cultists, and leave. Mr.
Pickston is overjoyed, and most effusive in his thanks.
Next Week:Stormbringer!
July Twenty-seventh
Not Pennsylvania Too
Game:Call of Cthulhu
Master:Karl
Players:Jason, Neal, Allen, Jim
Characters:Father Kepler, Dr. Edmond Alzon, John Sebastian, Berthol Hecht
Quotes of the Evening:"Oh, there will be peace on Earth - after a period of
extreme violence." - Allen
"Once Cthulhu rises, there will be only two stats that matter - speed and taste." -
Neal
Mr. Pickston ask that our heroes, in the company of the noted antiquarian Berthold
Hecht, recover for him a ledger, which was stolen by one Ernest Von Wecht, and which
is probably located somewhere at his estate. They travel to Von Wecht's Pennsylvania
estate, and are welcomed by his manservant Timothy Hart. Timothy leads them into
the massively overheated study, where they speak with a cooperative but incredibly
aged Von Wecht.
That night, strange dreams of being in a forested land, together, and chased by
huge creatures plague the party - and they begin to feel that these are more than
dreams. When they are rescued by some Dreamlands adventurers, Mary Sonderson,
N'tih Lawaa, and Corgard, the nature of this strange land is revealed. Then they
wake up.
They examine the estate, find a secret tunnel, and then, just before their next
meeting with Von Wecht, are informed that Von Wecht has died, upon reciept of
the blackmail which Pickston has sent him.
Next Week:Time to retrieve the ledger.
July Twentieth
Hand to Face Combat
Game:Martial Mystic Mecha Hero
Master:Jason
Players:Karl, Allen, Neal
Characters:Tohan Liu, Wu Li, Guer Li
Quotes of the Evening:"*ping* It is too late to evacuate the building
*ping*" "Oh, that's a useful warning." - Karl, Neal
"The walls are melting? Yes, yes, it's time to go." - Neal
"Yes - it's a self destruct button. You push it and the button melts." - Jason
We use the hyperspace transported to travel from the monastary to the emperor's
palace. He is waiting for us, to say the least. However, he reckoned without the
intervention of the forces from the black and evil realm crashing into ours,
and did not realize the true prowess in hand-to-hand combat of our characters.
('These are my finest troopers' *wipe* 'They were'). However, despite our defeating
him, and perhaps saving our dimension from being thrust into the other, we have
no time to rejoice, and flee through a random dimensional portal from the
collapsing palace...
Next Week:*ring* *ring* "Blargh!"
July Thirteenth
The Silicon Chip Monks
Game:Martial Mystic Mecha Hero
Master:Jason
Players:Karl, Allen, Neal
Characters:Tohan Liu, Wu Li, Guer Li
Quotes of the Evening:"Of course we're afraid of them! We're from an asian
universe - what do you think we think these monks are like? 'What is the sound
of one hand slapping your punk ass?'" - Karl
"You know, that's a really mad scientist." "The one who turns your own
nose against you?" "Yeah." - Neal, Karl
"What's their armor like?" "It's like cardboard, only wet." "Oh - stormtrooper
armor." - Karl, Neal, Allen
"He has a detector detector - which is good, unless they have a detector detector
detector; but if he has a detector detector detector detector..."- Karl
"The shaman is named Sweet Bear?" - Allen
Having met the red-headed league, of rebels against the galactic empire, we are
trained with them, but kept away from their secret mission to a base on the other
side of the planet. Instead, we are to infiltrate a monastary, to discover if it
is working for the imperial government.
The monastary at first looks pacific, but we discover enough strange things that
when we return to the base to find it occupied by imperial troops, and discover
that the imperial forces knew about the rebel assault, and destroyed their own
base along with all of the rebel forces, we realize that the monastary is some
sort of command center. We return, break in, and discover a hyperdimensional
portal, and the emperor's right hand scientist, leaving through it...
Next Week:Oh, like we're not going to jump into it.
July Sixth
Betrade Agreements
Game:AD&D
Master:Dave
Players:Karl, Neal, Kathleen, Jason, Allen
Characters:Ynogbard, Boromere Tonhaen, Terra, Tang Kar, Drul
Quotes of the Evening:"I am Ynogbard, the hysterically sadistic!" - Guess who
"Home is where you hang the halberd" - Boromere
"Thats how Tang Kar beat the sewer rat - he outlived it." - Boromere
We descend into the sewers of Beldar, to find the culprits in the break in.
After smiting several small monsters, we discover incriminating documents, and
return them to the king, who thereafter favors Teltrad in the trade agreements.
Next Week:Up in the air.
June Twenty-ninth
Still More Violent Incompetence
Game:AD&D
Master:Dave
Players:Karl, Neal, Kathleen, Jason, Allen
Characters:Ynogbard, Boromere Tonhaen, Terra, Tang Kar, Drul
Quotes of the Evening:"Clerics of the God of Fate are not much fun - 'I
cannot heal you, for you were meant to die of this wound." - Neal
"They could be anywhere." "The dead?" "Yeah" - Tang Kar, Terra
"What other weapons are available to clerics?" "Worshippers of other gods -
they are blunt, and obviously dense." - Terra, Tang Kar
"We wish you to represent us in a matter of village-shaking importance" - the elders
of Drul's tribe
"I'm prepared for anything; I'm traveling with a paladin of death!" - Ynogbard
"What is the best armor a wizard can wear?" "Underpants" - Tang Kar, GM
We are hired by the lords of Teltrad to assist their trade advisor in Beldar, a
small kingdom between Teltrad and Delar, both larger countries eager to trade with
Beldar for its mineral wealth.
On the way, we fight clean of an ambush, and arrive in Beldar. Quickly we become
embroiled in the underhanded trade negotiation war, meeting the key players and
finding dirt on them. A break-in at the Delar representatives rooms may give us
the keys we need to discredit them.
Next Week:We investigate this crime
June Twenty-second
Explosive Plot Devices
Game: Castle Falkenstein
Master: Neal
Players: Karl, Geoff, Jason, Dave, Kathleen
Characters: Lionel Caerwyn, Reginald Oakley-Stringum, Dr. Challenger, Bran Sin'aran, ?
Quotes of the Evening:"Old Navy - clothing evoking rum, sodomy, and the lash."
- Geoff
"Let's kill him, read his intestines, and we'll find out the truth." - Reginald
"Oh, I walk everywhere with murderous intent, but it's only because I am surrounded
by nincompoops." - Dr. Challenger
Our only remaining clue leading us to the East Anglia mansion of our nemesis,
MP Charles Bryce, we journey there to investigate. Sure enough, shady local
characters bear investigating, and soon our stakeout of Bryce's mansion and the
house of a Mr. Moorcock pay off - thieves break in to Bryces, and Moorcock sets
out in some flying device toward the mansion, undoubtedly to rescue them!
Dr. Challenger foils the flying machine, though Moorcock escapes, and the rest
of the team apprehends the break in artists - just as the house explodes! Bryce
is insane with rage, but as we have the culprits, can do nothing to us.
Next Week:After 3 years, we are finally going to play some AD&D.
June Fifteenth
Bulls in Chinatown
Game:Western Handle
Master:Karl
Players:Neal, Jason, Kathleen, Dave
Characters:Augustus Jones, Burning Owl, Brett Colorado, Michael Dyson
Quotes of the Evening:"Burning Owl is bison-sexual." "That's Un-herd of!" -
Neal, Dave
"Actually, he used dark chinese arts to find your names." "Well, if anything would
find our names, it would be dark arts." - GM, Augustus
"You use Apache tape - to Pache yourself up!" - Burning Owl
"The word 'dispense' should not precede the word 'sex'!" - Augustus
Referred by Marshal Gruber, our heroes enter Chinatown at the behest of Sung Li,
to solve a series of whorehouse murders. They investigate, and the clues wind up
pointing (rather crookedly) towards the new gubernatorial candidate, but also
towards other power groups within chinatown. The party follows its strongest lead
to the Palace Hotel, and sets out to investigate Horace Hiller.
Next Week:We return you to your regularly scheduled victoriana.
June Eighth
The Steam Lord Shuffle
Game: Castle Falkenstein
Master: Neal
Players: Karl, Geoff, Jason, Dave, Kathleen
Characters: Lionel Caerwyn, Reginald Oakley-Stringum, Dr. Challenger, Bran Sin'aran, ?
Quotes of the Evening: "'Discretion' is my middle name." "And your first name is 'Lack of'" - Lionel, Bran
"Maybe she put the gun in her mouth, and as she was swallowing it, it went off." - Dr.
Challenger
"This is 1871 London. You do not drag old men out into the street and shoot them."
- GM
"No, let's go outside, follow him, and interrogate him somewhere private where we can
enjoy it." - Reginald
At the behest of our patron, Prince Edward, we investigate the murder of one Mary Vincent,
a typesetter, and the implication in her death of the MP Terence Sloan. Ms. Vincent's body
was found in Minister Sloan's locked study, to which only he had the key; Minister Sloan,
though active with the nefarious Steam Lords, is secretly passing information to us. Or
was - his contact was Ms. Vincent.
We investigate, finding that Ms. Vincent met Mr. Sloan at a pub; they both left, he
roamed a while, then returned home to find her body, and be arrested - there was no
reason for her to have gone to his house. We discover that the doors to the balcony of
the study have latches almost certainly opened with a magnetic device, and that the
person who did this gained entrance to the study via the balcony from a neighboring
rooftop. The doors were made at a certain firm by a craftsman who showed up, made the
latches, and then left the firm.
Next Week: We further our investigation
June First
Neal gone, Allen gone, Dave & Geoff gone - no gaming.
Next Week: Neal runs Falkenstein
May Twenty-fifth
Neal gone, Allen gone, Dave & Geoff gone - no gaming.
Next Week: ?
May Eighteenth
Vermont in Winter
Game: Call of Cthulhu
Master: Karl
Players: Neal, Allen, Kathleen, Jason, Lauren
Characters: Dr. Edmund Alzon, John Sebastian, Carol Barteloni, Father Kepler, Holly Kraken
Quotes of the Evening: "This is my assistant Madam Va-Voom. The doubly evil but
eminently shaggable Madam Va-Voom."- GM
"Mr. Thou-shalt-not-commit-adultery-with-things-man-was-not-meant-to-know Pickston." - Neal
"Almost as bad an idea as shooting the sorceror who could have gotten us out of this."
"Hey - he called me a bitch." - Allen, Lauren
"I open the window." "What?" "I want to be able to see if anything is coming after me."
"Newbie!" - Lauren, all the other players
Asked by Mr. Pickston to retrieve a certain book from a Dr. Vinge, in a little town
in Vermont, our heroes set out in midwinter to the village of Horeston.
From the start, Horeston is discovered to be super-evil, and when all hell breaks loose,
and sanity loss starts happening at a rate like Cthulhu's appearance on Oprah, no
one is that surprised. Local witches summon up Ithaqua, which blasts out their souls
and leaves the husks mindlessly summoning a shoggoth and some mirror things; a sorceror
summons zombie indians massacred in the 1700s to protect himself, but the mirror things
get him and so pretty much everything comes after the player characters. Luckily, they
had found the road out of town, so they nab the book, start the car, and leave
the happy town of Horeston to the long cold winter.
Next Week: ?
May Eleventh
Dirty Work
Game: Castle Falkenstein
Master: Karl
Players: Neal, Jason, Allen, Kathleen
Characters: Nigel Horace Nelson, Dr. Challenger, Porthos Fontaine, Angelica Marldendale
Quotes of the Evening: "It's not Darkest Africa, man - it's just outside of Vienna!"
"Is there plumbing there?" - Nigel, Dr. Challenger
"This is a more subtle archaeological expedition - they don't use dynamite." - Nigel
"Being undead means never having to worry about cholesterol." - Angelica
"Testing each stone sounds like a pain in the ass." "Horrible death sounds like a pain
in the ass, too." - Nigel, Dr. Challenger
Still in Vienna after the Count Jovich affair, our heroes are asked to find some young
nobles who recently disappeared at the site of an archaeological dig outside Vienna.
At the dig, which is on the encampment of the Ottoman Sultan when he was besieging
Vienna, a Prussian archaeological team is found. Suspicion leads to investigation, and
the kidnapped (!) young men are found and released. Apparently, some powerful artifact
lies underground in an ancient tomb, and the Prussians intend to obtain it and whisk
it away to Berlin.
this obviously cannot be allowed, so our heroes enter the tomb, pass all the nefarious
traps, retrieve the artifact, and summon the Austrian authorities. Well done!
Next Week: Cthulhu awaits...
May Fourth
Urban Renewal
Game: Champions
Master: Jason
Players: Karl, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: the Janissary, ?, Blackcat
Quotes of the Evening: "Well, she has martial arts, which she imparts to her hair.
But it's armor piercing." - GM
"Hey - it wasn't our device that blew up!" "It wasn't his either - he stole it." - Blackcat, GM
"A cafeteria? Who would run it? Not me - I'd need a full body hair net!" - Blackcat
"Well, I lost another leg, but I grew three more arms. How does this affect my insurance
premiums?" - Blackcat
Our protagonists journey downtown (San Jose) to get some more insurance, and to have their
newest member sign up on their policy. While their, they notice excavations underway by
the evil corporation they thought that they had shut down, so they investigate. Suspicious
behavior soon becomes outright flight for the corporate employees, and a WWII era vault
is discovered, with it's contents, the Ameritank, a WWII soldier in a huge battle mech,
bursting forth along with several combat suited goons to attack our heroes.
Caught down in the vault, we take a pasting, but once able to flee to more advantageous
terrain outside, we battle the mislead Ameritank to a halt, and arrest all the goons.
Next Week: Falkenstein
April Twenty-seventh
Of Gods and Sods
Game: Stormbringer
Master: Geoff
Players: Karl, Jason, Allen, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: Ilsvar, Kra Bon, Var Potax, Roca, Sennash bel Hammad
Quotes of the Evening: "It's not like you could have had sex with the lights on,
is it?" "Hey - so I heard bat wings, so what?" - Jason, Neal re: dragonquest
"Boy, that would be bad. 'Okay, you're on top of the tower - what do you see?' A stream
of yellow water comes down." - Neal
"Be very fucking quiet." - Ilsvar
"Neal 'tasty buttocks' bringing up the rear?" - GM
"Just ask yourself this question: 'Am I flammable?'"- GM
"Hell, at this point you could kill me with a Q-Tip." - Ilsvar
"In fact, that is exactly what the God says: 'Oh, damn, my dice went all over the floor.'"
- GM
Arriving on the island, we encounter abandoned buildings and histories of Chaos
experiments, along with a tribe of strange people who decide not to fight us. We
enter to volcano where the altar is, become increasingly paranoid, find the altar,
a pair of dragon critters, destroy the altar, have Ilsvar get killed by a dragon,
have Sennash find a suit of magic armor by the other dragon, and escape. Quite
exciting.
Next Week: Not sure.
April Twentieth
Good Guys, Bad Guys - We're The Ones Standing
Game: Dragonquest
Master: Allen
Players: Neal, Jason, Kathleen, Karl
Characters: Devan, Olafina, Penelope, Talalynn
Quotes of the Evening: "Theft? Ha! Your laws don't apply to me, human!" - Devan
"Dral is god of ass-kicking." "Oh yes." - Talalynn, GM
"Basically the halfling kicked a lot of ass - mostly because they couldn't hit anything
higher." - Talalynn
"According to the rules that I am playing, which none of you have seen." - Jason
"However, I can see your thoughts, and-" "Don't look at the hobbit! DON'T LOOK AT THE
HOBBIT!" - Naga, Talalynn
We deliver our message to the king, or rather his chancellor. Later, the chancellor sends
for us, asking us to perform a sevice for him (for which we will be recompensed, of
course). Of course we agree, and soon we are off to secure the reappeared stronghold
of a wizard, lest evil forces use it.
We are attacked by goblins and hobgobins while camping, but they are defeated, and we
reach the stronghold without further trouble. The wizard's guardian naga luckily takes
a liking to us, slays the evil wizard following us, and allows us to assume custody
of the place from it.
Next Week: We wrap up stormbringer.
April Thirteenth
Without Fear of Contradiction (They're All Dead)
Game: Stormbringer
Master: Geoff
Players: Karl, Jason, Allen, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: Ilsvar, Kra Bon, Var Potax, Roca, Sennash bel Hammad
Quotes of the Evening: "They got kicked out for unnecessary roughness." "From
the temple of the god of execution? on Pan Tang?" "Yes." - Var Potax, Sennash
"'stocky' as in you can make a kind of soup out of him." - Ilsvar
"The special 4D Cthulhu trading cards." "My eyes have grown tentacles! But I can see
so much!" - Neal, Jason
"We're hoping these are the terminally stupid bandits. 'Number One' *stab* 'Now serving
number two...'" - Sennash
"Oooh - a bar. That's a great place to recover. 'One for me, one for the wound...'" -
Sennash
On the wagon ride to Dakos, we encounter some individuals fleeing some bandits. We
drive off the bandits, who set an ambush, where we kill all of them (silly bandits).
The people we rescued turn on us, wound Kra Bon, and we kill all of them (silly
victims). Turns out they were members of an assassins guild.
Once at Dakos, we rest up, then board ship for the isle of Duroth Imbren, there to
destroy the Chaos altar.
Next Week: more DragonQuest
April Sixth
Sleeping With The Enemy
Game: Dragonquest
Master: Allen
Players: Neal, Jason, Kathleen, Karl
Characters: Devan, Olafina, Penelope, Talalynn
Quotes of the Evening: "Hey - I have an axe! Don't call me a slut, halfling!" -
Talalynn
"Let's kidnap the king's daughter. Then he'd have to read the note we brought him!" -
Talalynn
"I'm delicately hiding the sledgehammer away to appear more feminine." - Olafina
On our way to take a letter to the King of Rindel, we stumble across a village laboring
under a curse. We investigate, but ultimately fail to solve the mystery, and everyone
in the village dies. Ah well.
Next Week: Back to Stormbringer
March Thirtieth
Whose Side Are We On, Anyways?
Game: Stormbringer
Master: Geoff
Players: Karl, Jason, Allen, Kathleen, Neal
Characters: Ilsvar, Kra Bon, Var Potax, Roca, Sennash bel Hammad
Quotes of the Evening: "There are two ways we can do this. There is the hard
way, and then there is my way!" - Ilsvar
"Pan Tang has sangiducts." - Var Potax
"What happens if you accidentally stick your finger in?" "Priest Stumpy - come here." -
Ilsvar, priest
Hired by dubious wealthy person Alundin Jaspers to destroy an altar of Heon Hurn,
Chaos god of executions, our party find themselves in the odd position of needing
to steal a major artifact of law, so that they can destroy a major artifact of Chaos.
Well, pissing of deities never stopped us before, so we hit the temple of Donblas to
steal the Hammer of Kestus (which will then allow us to destroy the altar). We are
successful in doing so, and we make a rapid exit, meeting with a caravan which will take
us to the port city of Dakos where we can catch a boat to the tiny island upon which
the altar is located.
Next Week: Dragonquest
March Twenty-third
Grand Reft Auto
Game: Car Wars
Players: Jason, Karl, Neal, Jim
Quotes of the Evening: "Let's put this in perspective, Jim; you're worried about
hitting the wall head on at 20 - but the whole point of your maneuver is to get Jason
to broadside you going 100." "That does put it in perspective." - Karl, Jim
More destructive fun, in Jason's donut-shaped arena. Plus we got to make our own
cars this time.
Next Week: Stormbringer!
March Sixteenth
The Hardest Part of Omnipotence
Game: Handle Magic
Master: Karl
Players: Jason, Neal, Kathleen, Allen
Characters: Hyric, Khufu Semer-Hathor, ?, Erik Greyfalcon
Quotes of the Evening: "Oh sure, I'm going to strap explosives to myself and charge
into battle." "No, that's what teammates are for." - Neal, Allen
"It's a magical crank call: *ring* *ring* *GOOOOOOSH*" - Neal
The Kthan, it turns out, are collecting ancient and powerful magic artifacts; on Nafin,
they are after Agar's Hammer. A complex spell casting session to interrupt them
ensues, leading to the ultimate destruction of a number of enemy mages, the re-hiding
of Agar's Hammer, and the theft of the Wandering Wizard's book, hopefully putting
a serious crimp in the Kthan's plans. However, more evil is certainly brewing in the
land, and out heroes have a limited time to decide how to stop it...
Next Week: Undecided
March Ninth
Magic Shovels
Game: Handle Magic
Master: Karl
Players: Jason, Neal, Kathleen, Allen
Characters: Hyric, Khufu Semer-Hathor, ?, Erik Greyfalcon
Quotes of the Evening: "Girly Assassin! Girly Assassin!" - the characters
"How did you get that (long extinct) title?" "I earned it." "Ah - making your evil
the old-fashioned way." - Allen, Kthan
"We were looking for the magic bagpipe, to lead the clans into battle. We found the
magic kazoo - to lead the clowns into battle." - Jason
The Kthan and many henchpeople are found on Nafin, digging up an artifact of great
power. Much spellcasting ensues, with our heroes ultimately beating an hasty reatreat
by dimension dooring to another continent entirely. Then, rested up, they plan their
counterattack.
Next Week: Retaliation
March Second
Complexity
Game: Handle Magic
Master: Karl
Players: Jason, Neal, Kathleen, Geoff, Allen
Characters: Hyric, Khufu Semer-Hathor, ?, Hasim, Erik Greyfalcon
Quotes of the Evening: "So, I want self-cleaning clothes." "Wait - do you
mean clothes that clean themselves, or clothes that clean you?" "Ooooh." - Neal,
Kathleen
"It's Hasim the Flatulent." "He gets on the boat behind us." - Jason, Neal
"It burns when I pee - because it's steam!" - Jason, discussing the merits of create
water
Our protagonists are asked by an instructor at the College of Magic to accompany him
to the isle of Nafin, where a number of practitioners have recently been slain.
Unfortunately, no sooner is the investigation underway than the instructor, a powerful
mage, is slain, leaving our heroes to continue the investigation. They find many clues
that the perpetrators are working for a group of evil mages, the Kthan, who are
up to no good here on Nafin.
Next Week: Resolution?
February Twenty-third
Handling Class Negative What?
Game: Car Wars
Players: Jason, Karl, Allen, Neal
Quotes of the Evening: "I'm cool under fire - it reminds me of mother." - Jason
"I'm your worst fucking nightmare! I'm my worst fucking nightmare!" - Neal
We had a fiery good time; those who did not know how to play Car Wars learned, and
everyone got blowed up real good.
Next Week: Handle Magic. No, really.
February Sixteenth
The Gunfight Car
Game: Western Handle
Master: Jason
Players: Karl, Neal, Dave, Allen, Kathleen
Characters: Rev. Obadiah Black, Augustus Jones, Michael Dyson, Taylor Jones, Brett Colorado
Quotes of the Evening: "The lawyer has a 23 strength?" "It comes from breaking
rocks." - Jason, Kathleen
"The Donner pass restaurant - now serving ice cream." "It all tastes like chicken!" - Allen,
Neal
"Oooh - shootout in the marshals' office - between the marshals!" - Neal
"It's the Polka Train; no bloodshed, but the suffering was intense." - Neal
Marshal Gruber sends the party to prevent a robbery from a train bringing passengers
from Utah to California. Our heroes board the train at the start, and leave at the
end, with the money, but along the way bridges are blown up, citizens are terrorized,
devious plots are uncovered, and, of course, lots of people get shot.
Next Week: Unbeknownst
February Ninth
That's No Finger!
Game: Western Handle
Master: Karl
Players: Jason, Neal, Dave, Allen, Kathleen
Characters: Burning Owl, Augustus Jones, Michael Dyson, Taylor Jones, Brett Colorado
Quotes of the Evening: "The only one who would know about the museum would
be Burning Owl, and that's because he woke up in a case there one morning." "Hey -
them coyotes was good eatin'!" - Augustus, B.O.
"The leader was a tall man - no on recognized him." "It was two midgets." - GM,
Michael
"Danger sense? One member of our party has unstable dynamite strapped all over his
body! It's always going off!" - Augustus
"I become a Quaker." - Augustus
"I uncorked the knowledge that lay within." - B.O.
"I got useful skills, and understanding Burning Owl is not one of them." - Augustus
"I've written my name on my scalp - so no one else can take it." - Augustus
The party is hired by Marshal Gruber to recover certain religious artifacts stolen
by a band of criminals from a San Francisco museum. These bandits have holed up with
their stolen artifacts in the desert east of Yreka; they are also being pursued by
two indian tribes, from whom they have also stolen artifacts.
As might be expected, the bandits attempt some evil occult ritual on top of the
butte they are holed up on - they players wait until dark, and sneak in to stop them.
After an altercation with some indians, and the discovery of damn near an whole
indian nation on the other side of the mesa, they ascend the butte, shooting it out
with the bandits, and manage to scale the cliff and stop the ritual with some
heavy gunfighting and quick thinking.
Next Week: Jason runs Western Handle
February Second
Dial V for Evil
Game: Gurps MIB
Master: Dave
Players: Karl, Jason, Allen
Characters: Agent L, Agent J, Agent T
Quotes of the Evening: "It would have to be forty-five yards across for you to hit it,
and not invisible." "Maybe it's some sort of zeppelin-like alien." - Agent J, Agent L
"I kick down the door, yell 'good guys duck!', and spray the room." - Agent T
"Vanda, eh? I bet that 'v' is for 'evil'. We should get her." - Agent L
"I'm not saying she's evil, but a house landed on her sister." - Agent J
Assigned to protect Durndil, trade minister of Tarka, at a trade conference, our heroes
thwart numerous attempts on the hapless alien's life. Sniper fire at LaGuardia (it was a
space ship, but it looked like a Lear jet to everyone else), poison at the conference,
burrowing spider robots in the sleeping quarters, and finally the assassin itself at the
signatory table. Nothing got past the Men in Black.
Next Week: By popular demand, Handle returns to its true gory nature.
January Twenty-sixth
...or Alive
Game: Handle Western
Master: Karl
Players: Neal, Dave, Jason, Allen, Kathleen
Characters: Augustus Jones, Michael Dyson, Burning Owl, Taylor Jones, Brett Colorado
Quotes of the Evening: "Your name is 'Tater Joe'?!?" "That's Taylor Jones!"
- Augustus, Taylor
"The US Marshals are low on good people, so we're hiring bad people. Like you." - US Marshal
John Gruber
"...drawn from the dregs of society." "That's only because your people killed off the society
that approved of me!" - Gruber, Burning Owl
"Oh, I doubt even they approved of you." - Augustus
"I claim to be one hundred and fifty." "Ah - no one could be that insane in only one lifetime."
- Burning Owl, Augustus Jones
"We're more law than this town has ever seen!" - Brett
"They're not gonna kill us - we're all gonna commit suicide." - Taylor Jones, commenting on
certain townspeople's veracity
"We take the 'law' out of 'logic' - when we're done, it's just a room full of 'ick'" -
Augustus
"If we kill all the witnesses, we don't figure it out." "No, if we kill all the witnesses,
we have figured it out." - Brett, Burning Owl
"Pass me the horse tape." - Augustus
"You know, I'm not gonna figure this out, and it's not gonna bother me. I'm just gonna start
killing people." - Burning Owl
"You know the kind of men he sends - violent and incapable" - Michael, re: Gruber's hiring
policies
Sent to the Nevada town of Middleton by Gruber to solve the murder of the local marshal, our
protagonists uncover a web of murder and deceit. The local mining magnate, Finch, was killed
five years ago, and his highly suspect will named several local luminaries as beneficiaries.
However, the money then disappeared. Sure enough, several subsequent deaths are revealed by
our investigative team as murders, and the deceased Marshal Anderson is found to be the
mastermined of the whole plot. With the aid of local strongman Robert Dawson, his three killers
are apprehended.
Next Week: Dave runs MIB
January Nineteenth
Worse Than Quicksand
Game: Call of Cthulhu
Master: Dave
Players: Neal, Karl, Allen, Kathleen, Geoff
Characters: Dr. Edmund Alzon, Prof. Steakham, John Sebastian, Barteloni, Shamus O'Roarke
Quotes of the Evening: "It's self-defense!" "Ah - pre-emptive self-defense." "I am
gonna get so pre-emptive on his ass..." - Shamus, Prof. Steakham
"It's a partial moon - but it's the middle part." - Dr. Alzon
"Cthulhu's outside... and he's got a corsage..." - Geoff
"I am here to give you extreme unction. How do you feel, my son?" "It...hurts....like....fuck..."
"That'll be two Hail Marys - and you'd better get going, you don't have long." - Geoff
"Well, they're no worse than the locals, but the locals are killing people for a good reason."
- Dr. Alzon
"They have this important ceremony, one which they've passed down to their children..." "I
think it's our duty to interfere with it as soon and as thoroughly as possible." - John
Sebastian, Shamus O'Roarke
"I subscribe to Modern Shotgun Archaeology." - Dr. Alzon
Prof. Randall Steakham recieves a letter from a colleague in Louisiana, asking to investigate
the disappearance of a Dr. Darke. He secures the company of Mr. Sebastian and Ms. Barteloni,
and flies to the deep south. Darke apparently disappeared while investigating a local ritual
at a small bayou town, so Steakham and Co., accompanied by the adventure archaeologist Dr. Alzon
and his companion Shamus, head into the swamps.
The town is quiet, as are the natives, but our intrepid heroes soon piece together the facts.
A local ritual is keeping something horrible bound beneath a local hill, and Darke was looking
to stop the ritual and bring it forth. Colleagues of Darke's arrive on the same errand, and we
assist the natives in taking care of them. The unspeakable remains in slumber.
Next Week: Either Dave runs MIB or Karl runs Handle.
January Twelfth
Neal, Geoff, and Jason were gone, so we did not game.
Next Week: Dave runs CoC
January Fifth
Immortal, You Say?
Game: Castle Falkenstein
Master: Karl
Players: Neal, Dave, Jason, Allen, Kathleen
Characters: Nigel Horace Nelson, Bran Sin'Aran, Dr. Challenger, Porthos Fontaine,
Angelica Marldendale
Quotes of the Evening: "Transylvania. Talk about a bad place for a land war. 'Sir,
half of the army is eating the other half!'" - Karl
"I am Count Jovich. Allow me to demonstrate my awesome alliterative abilities, amazing and
astounding absolutely all." - Count Jovich
"Do you have a wooden stake? It can have blunt ends..." "Blunt ends make it hurt more." -
Dr. Challenger, Angelica
"I'm sure he is in the servants.... quarters." - Count Jovich
"Did you hear that ungodly screaming last night?" "No - what were you doing?" - Bran, Nigel
"You survive, but you wet your ethereal pants." - Nigel
"How does he get his cuban cigars?" "He has his bats fly over and bring them back one at a
time." "Hee - picture all those poor bats carrying cigars flying over the Atlantic." - Dave,
Karl, Kathleen
"I slept like a concussed lamb." - Dr. Challenger
Arriving in Bergschuetz, the party finds that there were three groups staying at the inn,
and setting out for the Count's castle (just under a day's ride away) the night before
the disappearance. The first group, leaving before dawn, was a group of Hungarians; the
second, the party of an English lady, and the third Hulschoen and Krulz. Strangely, another
group is staying at this inn this night, and are introduced to the party as Austrian
Staatspolizei, by the names of Henker and Druenn, as well as three other men and a woman
who are not introduced.
The following days travel to the castle passes swiftly, as the road gets steeper and more
winding each mile, until it is high among the mountain crags with drops of a thousand feet
around each corner, and rickety old stone bridges. Then the axle breaks, and Marko the
translator is thrown, his leg breaking. Challenger's ability
to tinker repairs the axle, but the sun is going down, and for some reason the party is highly
unwilling to be caught out here after dark. At the long drawbridge to the castle, an eruption
of bats spooks the horses, but by sheer will they are guided in their panic into the castle,
as the portcullis closes.
At the castle, the party is guided by an elderly butler past the abandoned wings into the large
main section of the castle, and introduced to a tall, handsome man. Count Jovich. He in turn
introduces his guests, the Lady Mary Mistenstrom with her maids, travelling companion, and
bodyguards (among whom is Laurence Scrif! He feigns not knowing the party, but later speaks
with them in the library). She subsequently snubs the party as 'not any proper sort of people',
being Americans and ruffians, particularly the unescorted Lady Marldendale, but
excluding the courtly faerie Bran Sin'Aran. Additionally, Henker and Druenn are present, but
none of the others, their carriage having gone over a cliff. (Later this is discovered to
be a ruse). There are also a Prussian, Albert Berkel, and a Chinese man, Sun LoShu, visiting,
but they remain taciturn and withdrawn.
The night passes uneventfully, save some screaming heard by Bran, and the fact that Henker and
Druenn are terrified in the morning, and proceed to barricade themselves into their room.
However, it is the disappearance of Marko, ostensibly taken to the servant's quarters, that
really sets off the warning signals in the party's minds, and when Bran flies to the bottom
of the cliff that Castle Jovich perches on, and finds thousands of bodies (many very recent),
well, it's stake and knife time.
Led by Nigel and Porthos, our heroes storm down through the massive double doors blocking the
stairs into the mountain. They pass through a huge cave, and over a wooden platform beneath
which is heard some ghastly scratching. A door opens onto the cliff face beneath the castle,
and a small path around to another door. Behind this door, an awful sight confronts Nigel and
Dr. Challenger, (Porthos staying to protect Lady Marldendale back before the cliffside path);
the room is an abattoir of human remains - and several living captives! Among the captives
are Hulschoen, Krulz, the female SP agent, and a number of Hungarian rebels. Among the
dead, sadly, is Marko. Then the butler, drawn by the commotion, opens the door - and runs!
Nigel chases him past a caged beast of terrifying nature, all stone and with claws like butcher
knives, and manages to apprehend him before he can reach 'the master'. Then, after seeing the
freed captives safely barricaded in a room with the remaining guests, the party frantically
begins a search for the Count, as the sun sinks in the west.
"The tower!" As the sun touches the horizon, they storm the twisted tower which leans out over
the cliff - and find coffins containing two of the guests, who are promptly dispatched, their
heads cut off and thrown downstairs to be taken outside. Then, using their great strength and
aided by their desparation, the heroes smash through the ceiling, to find the sarcophagus
containing their host. They attempt to stake him, but he springs from his coffin, and removes
Porthos' crossbow bolt from his heart, mockingly. Things seem bleak, but the aging roof draws
Porthos' attention, and he begins to shoot it, letting in thin streamers of sunlight. Challenger
joins in, and as Bran mentally challenges the much more powerful Count, trying to get that
critical moment of delay preventing him from escaping through the floor, Nigel tosses the lid
of the sarcophagus through the weakened roof, letting in the last rays of the setting sun,
and reducing the evil Count to ash.
With the destruction of the Count, everyone passes a safe night, and the following days
sees the party return to Vienna, and thence to Castle Falkenstein, bearing the thanks of
a grateful Count Hulschoen, to recieve the gratitude of King Ludwig and a letter of inquiry
from a Dr. Van Helsing about their recent adventures.
Next Week:Dave will be running Cthulhu. Or vice versa...
December Twenty-ninth
Surprise Party
Game: none
Jeanne was having a birthday, so Kathleen, Jason, Dave and Karl turned up for that;
Neal stayed over the Hill, Allen didn't recieve the invite in time, and Geoff was in
England.
Next Week: Interview with Count Jovich
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